


E-001_log

by Buggy



Series: Of Metal Men [2]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Mann vs. Machine, Robots, some language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-11
Updated: 2013-12-11
Packaged: 2018-01-04 08:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 31,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1078517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buggy/pseuds/Buggy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Betrayed and stripped of his very humanity, Dell Conagher finds himself forced to continue working for the man responsible.  Now his only chance at escape, and more importantly redemption, lies with his old team and a vaguely malfunctioning medibot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

entry_1

My name is Dell Conagher. My identification code ends in E-001, but that is not my name.

This log is for personal purposes, which is why I have hidden it in my essential files instead of in some outer receptacle or a notebook. If Gray were to decide I would be more useful without the memories of my human existence or got wind that I wasn't as subjugated as I pretend to be, he wouldn't think to wipe anything from these files. It's not a foolproof backup, but it's about as good as I can make it right now.

Backup files of my memories can be found at another location which I won't list here for fear of compromising myself. If my future self is processing this entry after the worst has happened, you should be able to find the files just fine with a little digging. But there are several points that you need to remember regardless of what else happens.

1\. This was done to you without your consent. Gray may try to make you think he is in charge, that you've always been like this, and that it's your duty to do whatever the hell he says. Just remember, he's not, you've not, and it's not.

2\. There are people out there who know what happened to you. The men you fight out on the field? You used to be one of those guys. You managed to get through to them just after your conversion. They might not know you're still yourself though; Gray found the letter and only let you send it because he thought it might dishearten them. Or maybe he just thought it was funny. Either way, you couldn't ask for their assistance.

3\. You are alone. Those guys I mentioned have every reason to hate your guts. Their employer most likely wants you dead. And the law will not support you on any counts as you should be in prison. If there's a way to bring down Gray somehow then take it, but don't be expecting any future you face to be real bright.

If you're still kind of incredulous about this, future self, take into account that you are the sole robot Engineer, or were at the time of me writing this letter. More importantly remember that unlike the robots you help to construct and maintain, you are reuploaded into a new body whenever the current one is destroyed, much like the respawn system of the mercenaries Mann Co. has hired. Whether you believe me or not, you can't deny that you're different from the other machines.

Don't know if I'll keep this log up or not. It's kind of depressing to think about what I used to be, and there's not a whole lot happening in the present that's worth recording. Gray doesn't push his luck trying to gloat over me or anything. The other robots provide about as good company as a pack of talkative pet rocks. All I do all day is mechanical repairs, manning the assembly lines, and the occasional attack on a Mann Co. building.

/entry_1


	2. Chapter 2

entry_2

Didn't shut down properly for the long tank ride, thought I'd record more for my log so the boredom doesn't drive me crazy.

You'd think with how big these stupid tanks are there'd be a lot of room in them, but Gray's all about efficient use of space. He's got machines stacked back to back in here like firewood. Even if I wasn't secured for transit, I wouldn't be able to stretch my arms in front of me. It's not really a bad thing though. Being packed in means less room to fly around if we get knocked over or we run into a building or something, and that means less chance of damage to us or the vehicle's internal mechanisms. As it is I wouldn't care one way or the other if I was unconscious-- powered down, shut off, whatever-- but I'm not, and it's making me kind of claustrophobic.

I kind of wish I had more to record. Problem is I haven't had so much as an interesting conversation with anyone or anything since Gray set me to work again. Here's a transcript of a sample conversation with a coworker at Gray Gravel Company headquarters:

E-001: I can't find the standard for sentry buster run-speed calibration.  
0395: *BEEP* Master Gray knows where it is because he is brilliant.  
Various surrounding units: ALL HAIL THE MAKER!  
E-001: I already told you Gray--  
0395: Master Gray.  
E-001: Fine, Master Gray don't want--  
0395: *BADDABEEP* Master Gray (italics on) _doesn't_ (italics off) want.  
E-001: Master Gray doesn't want us bothering him with little stuff like this.  
0395: That is because Master Gray is an important person. *BEEPBOOP*  
Various surrounding units: ALL HAIL THE MAKER!  
E-001: Then why-- just, just find that standard for me.  
0395: Negative. I do not have access to sentry buster calibration standards. *BOP* You should ask unit 0396.  
Various surrounding units: ALL HAIL THE MAKER!

Maker... I'm about fit to send a few of these overgrown toasters to their Maker if they keep carrying on like that. You can't get a straight answer out of any of the stupid things. They just want to crow about Gray all day long, and it's enough to drive anyone up the wall.

That reminds me, there was one interesting thing that happened today. A Medic-bot was assigned to help me with minor repairs and maintenance of other units-- I mean, the robots. 0031 is what it called itself. I think there might be something wrong with it since Gray's not sending it out on the field anymore. Now I don't usually hold with Medics, leastways I only just got along with our human one on BLU, but 0031 is pretty quiet and doesn't bother me too much. It does have this weird habit of staring at me when it thinks I'm not looking though. Probably a side-effect of whatever internal errors are keeping it from being sent out to fight. Anyways it's still competent and makes my job easier, so you'll hear no complaining from me.

It just occurred to me though, does Gray just not want me working alone? It's possible that he's got me someone to work with so he can keep an eye on me. Who's to say if some of these units don't record everything they see?

Think I finally figured out how to put myself into a low-power state for the rest of the ride, so I'll stop here. Might make another entry, might not. It depends.

/entry_2


	3. Chapter 3

entry_3

It's been two weeks, and I can't take it anymore.

I can't sit here and do nothing but what I'm told. I can't just look down and keep working whenever Gray comes in the room looking all smug-like. And mostly I can't fight another match against my own damn team.

It's going to get me killed likely as not, but I've got to find a way to communicate with BLU. I'll have to be sneaky about this; obviously it'll have to happen during a battle, that's the only chance I've got to get close to one of them. Hopefully I can find our Pyro or possibly Sniper. Seems like they'd be the most likely to hear me out. But there's a few days until Gray sends me out again, which means a few days to scrape together some kind of plan. And some paper and a writing utensil, come to think of it. They don't have a lot of those just lying around as everyone here's a robot and can usually remember anything they need to know without writing it down, and Gray confiscated all of my possessions. But I figure it'll be easier to write down what I need to say before hand and hand it off on the field in case I get interrupted. It also has the advantage of allowing whoever I contact to share it with the rest of the team, so if there's any possible way I'm using a written message.

0031 keeps acting funny. It's not like a product of programming issues or hardware malfunctions either. If I didn't know any better, I'd think the robot's nervous about something. And it STILL hasn't stopped staring at me while we're working. Hopefully it doesn't suspect that I'm planning anything.

/entry_3


	4. Chapter 4

entry_4

Looks like I've finally caught a break. Better still, I know what's got 0031 acting funny.

I was checking the wiring of one of those bomb-carrier tanks Gray sends out sometimes while waiting for 0031 to show up. The check was about halfway done when I found a place where the wire had been damaged, and as I'm still kind of new to working alongside the robots I wasn't sure where the stuff I'd need to splice it was. So naturally I went out looking for the robot to see if it could help me out.

Problem was, 0031 wasn't anywhere I'd expect it to be. It wasn't in the main lobby or waiting to talk with Gray or refueling or anything, and of course none of the other robots could help me aside from yelling ALL HAIL THE MAKER a few more times. I was about ready to give up and just look for the darn tools myself when I saw 0031 heading down a hallway. I'd have gone and talked with it immediately, but it was acting kind of like it didn't want people to notice what it was doing. Anytime another machine came close to it, 0031 would turn real fast to stare at the wall, acting like it was distracted, and they'd all just shake their heads and mutter about how malfunctioning machines should just be decommissioned already. Then soon as they were gone, it'd look around surreptitiously before it kept moving.

Now I was real curious about what it was up to that the other robots weren't supposed to know about, so I followed it at a distance. For all I knew it was acting on Gray's orders, and call me paranoid but there was a chance that it could've had to do with me. But it didn't go anywhere that seemed too suspicious. After a long walk down the hall, it turned into one of the workrooms and shut the door behind it. I walked up real quietly to listen, but whatever it was doing didn't seem to be very noisy. So I figured the best thing to do was to just walk right on in and see what it was doing for myself.

Upon entry I saw that it was turned away from me, apparently focused on something on one of the workbenches. There was a variety of tools laid out on either side, small ones for minor repairs and fine-tuning of the robots. Some of them looked like they'd been modified from their original purpose, cut off and with blades attached to the sides or tapered to long points like probes. Soon as the robot heard me though, it jerked and spun around real fast on that wheel it has. It made sure to block my view of whatever it had laid out on the table behind it before addressing me.

0031: What are you doing here? Herr Gray has not authorized you to enter this area!  
E-001: I'm not altogether sure you're authorized to be here either. What's that you're working on?  
0031: It is nothing! Just a... a personal project, it is nothing of importance, bitte!  
E-001: Well now I'm pretty sure 'Herr Gray' hasn't authorized any of us to work on personal projects either.

And then it really started acting distraught, wringing its hands and looking around as though trying to think of some way out of the situation. You could almost feel sorry for it.

0031: If I show you... you could promise not to tell Herr Gray, ja? I do not want him to think I am a bad robot.  
E-001: That kind of depends, don't it? I'm not promising anything until I see what it is I'm promising not to tell him about. 

It sighed (or at least imitated a sigh, being a robot and all) and moved out of the way for me to see. I moved in closer and had to stop for a moment, because it wasn't anything like what I'd expected.

There was a dead bird lying on the bench, a pigeon from the looks of it, with its neck snapped like it had flown into a window. It was laid out really carefully and cut open. Several of its organs were taken out entirely and set to one side along with some feathers.

E-001: What...?  
0031: I was only trying to repair it, bitte! I found it outside when I was patrolling the premises, und it was broken on the ground, und I just wanted to see if I could make it work again! I was not doing anything bad, I promise!  
E-001: But it's dead. It's a dead bird.  
0031: I know, I know, but... there has to be a way, ja? It is constructed of organic matter instead of metal, but it is still a machine of sorts. If I could repair the structural damage und reintroduce a power source then perhaps I could get the bird to function again.   
E-001: I think it's a little more complicated than that, son. Still, Gray's not going to be happy that you're spending time and resources on something he didn't build you to do.  
0031: It isn't... well perhaps Herr Gray would not approve, but this could help I think, if perhaps Herr Gray were to be damaged, so... I'm not doing anything wrong, am I?

And then it looked at me real intently as though hoping I'd approve or something. I didn't really know what I thought about its project, but it popped into my head that maybe I could use this situation.

E-001: Well... I guess Gray don't have to know about this. See, I've got a personal project of my own that I'd like to keep on the down-low.  
0031: Er... and what is that exactly, bitte?  
E-001: Just some ideas I had for mechanical improvements. But I'll need a piece of paper and a pencil to draw them out, preferably before the next attack.  
0031: Paper?  
E-001: Yeah. I have an easier time getting a grip on this sort of thing when I can draw it out somewhere besides in my head. Think you could help me out there, seeing as how I'm not going to tell Gray about your little project?  
0031: I-I could probably get you these things without too much trouble, if you require them.  
E-001: Good. Now let's get back to work before someone goes to check on us and realizes we're not there.

So now I've got an ally, of sorts, and I don't have to worry about 0031 spying on me anymore most likely. It's two days until the next attack; hopefully I'll be ready by then.

/entry_4


	5. Chapter 5

entry_5

Gray's a moron. What possible reason would he have for giving a robot pain receptors? I mean, sure, it serves the same purpose that pain does in organic beings maybe, it helps them know if they've been structurally compromised, but I could tell that my arm got pulled out of its socket WITHOUT it feeling so bad I almost shut down involuntarily.

And it's not like I asked for it to happen either. I was just waiting in line at the refueling station, kind of reflecting on how the spartan environment would be detrimental to the mental well-being of human workers and minding my own business, when suddenly I was knocked to the floor like I'd been hit by a car or something. A bunch of Scout-bots that had been chattering mindlessly in front of me spun around to watch. At first I wasn't really sure why, except then this huge hand came down and yanked me up by one arm.

Now I've been mowed down by the RED Heavy plenty of times before, heard him bellowing like a bull while he comes running at me and my machines like he's having the time of his life. He can be downright terrifying when he's mad, and the same goes for the one on BLU. But this was something else entirely. Robots don't have facial expressions, see, leastways Gray's don't, just an articulating jaw and round eyes with these cold lights in them. You can't tell what they're thinking or feeling, if the ones that aren't me feel, and it's so different from the men they're modeled after it's enough to give you nightmares. This one had my arm in a grip so tight it felt like it might dent one of my cover plates, and it had me held up off the ground high enough that we were eye to eye. And it just stood like that for a minute, staring at me.

I kept real quiet.

0218: You are new model, da? Engineer robot?  
E-001: Pretty new, yeah. Mind letting go of my arm? You've got a real good grip, and I'm afraid you might accidentally cause some damage.

It faked a snort and dropped me to the ground. I didn't bother trying to get up, partly because it was still glaring down at me and partly because it was taking a lot of energy and focus to keep from blacking out. It didn't take much brainpower to figure out that my shoulder was pretty bad off.

0218: I am Heavy robot 0218. I work with 0031 sometimes before he was done with fighting. Now he works with you.  
E-001: Yeah, he does. There a reason you're telling me all this?

It looked from me to the crowd of mostly Scout-bots watching us then back again, as though it didn't want to say anything more in front of an audience. The Scouts, well, they're like the real Scouts a little bit, everything goes right over their heads. Finally it made up its mind and spoke again.

0218: Master Gray says we are not hurting one another. If you get Doktor in trouble though, I do not care about these orders anymore. Understand, little man?  
E-001: What are you talking about?  
0218: You are not stupid; do not pretend like it is the case.

Then it turned and stalked off without another word. I don't think it even got back in line to get refueled.

The Scout-bots were all disappointed that there hadn't been a fight. They made sure to be pretty vocal about it, but I was too busy trying to get to my feet and figuring out what 0218 was talking about to spare them a thought. And it hit me real hard all of a sudden that maybe the Heavy-bot knew I was getting 0031 to find paper for me.

So I got refueled fast as I could, which was kind of hard since I was doing my best to keep from damaging my arm further, then ran fast as I could to the room we usually do repairs in. Sure enough, 0031 was waiting for me in there along with a deactivated sentry buster.

0031: Gut, you are here! Why did it take you so long to... E-001, what happened to your arm?  
E-001: Your buddy's what happened to it. Did you tell anyone about the paper?  
0031: Das Papier, bitte? Was... OH. Oh, I have your paper, ja, und a pen.  
E-001: But did you TELL anyone? Did you tell 0218?  
0031: Er... we really should repair that arm of yours first E-001. It looks--  
E-001: First answer my question.  
0031: It... I didn't say anything about the paper, I promise, but he thought I was acting anxious und he pressured me, und well... he is not stupid.

I groaned and leaned against the wall, my suspicions confirmed. The robot wheeled a little closer to me. Its head was to one side as though 0031 were watching me for a specific reaction.

0031: If I may be so bold, E-001--  
E-001: Stop calling me that.  
0031: But it is your identification code.  
E-001: There's only one of me. You might as well just call me Engineer, all right?  
0031: Well then Herr Engineer, may I ask what you are actually planning to do with this paper?  
E-001: None of your damn business.  
0031: I think it is some of my business, bitte, if I am the one who got das Papier for you to begin with.

I scowled at it, except then I remembered that my face doesn't move anymore so the endeavor was pointless.

E-001: I think it's about as much your business as your bird experiment is mine.  
0031: Oh, if you wanted to get involved, I could--  
E-001: You know that's not what I meant. Now will you please give me the paper, 0031?

The Medic-bot simulated a frustrated sigh. It wheeled over to a shelf where it retrieved several pieces of blank white paper then set them in my good hand.

0031: I am not trying to get you into trouble with my questions Herr Engineer, regardless of what you might think.  
E-001: That's nice.  
0031: No, I am being very serious. It would just be good if you would... well, just make certain that this is not a bad idea, whatever it is that you are planning. I do not want to see you getting into trouble with Herr Gray.  
E-001: I'm more concerned about your Heavy friend than Gr-- Master Gray at the moment.  
0031: 0218 is a bit silly about things sometimes, yes. He is only concerned that I might get decommissioned, though we both know that is a ridiculous prospect.  
E-001: Not ridiculous enough for him to NOT almost rip my arm clean off.  
0031: Yes, well, perhaps we can repair your shoulder first, bitte, und then repair this sentry buster, und after I can talk with 0218.  
E-001: Fine, let's get this over with.

The repairs didn't take too long, though my shoulder's still sore as anything, and nothing else interesting happened while we were working. I didn't get any time to myself until just now though by convincing an assembly line overseer that my arm was malfunctioning. I'm supposed to be looking it over now, but I'm writing my note to BLU instead. This is what I've got.

note_1

This is Dell. I'm sorry, and I'm trying to get out. If you want to help, arrange for further communications at the next attack. If you don't, I understand.

/note_1

I guess that'll have to do for now, though I was hoping to make it longer. They'll come looking for me if I'm gone for longer than ten minutes, and I still need to find a really good place to hide this in case Gray gets suspicious and has me searched. After that, well, it's a matter of getting ready for tomorrow and hoping I don't have to respawn before I plant this note on somebody.

/entry_5


	6. Chapter 6

entry_6

Looks like this is it. The tank's pulling into position, the alarm's been set off, and we'll be sent out to attack at any moment. There's a few things I've got to do to make sure this comes off without a hitch.

1\. Find a spot to set up which is kind of removed from the bomb carriers' route but still sheltered from long range projectiles. I already have some prospective locations in mind, so that doesn't have me worried.

2\. Approach at least one of the mercenaries away from the other robots in case they report my movements back to Gray. If I find a good spot for the teleporter to start out, they may have to approach me themselves to try and take it out of commission, making this step simpler in its execution.

3\. Get them to stop attacking for long enough to hand over the note. This is the riskiest part of the plan since there's no guarantee I'll find the note again if they force me to respawn, but attacking them in self-defense will make it less likely for them to trust me. Maybe if I can convince them I'm not about to attack while outside of my sentry's range they'll hear me out.

4\. Once the transaction is complete, continue fighting as though nothing has transpired to avoid arousing suspicion from anyone.

If I can just keep my head and remember the objectives, then the probability of success will remain high. It's funny, I thought I'd be more nervous than this.

/entry_6


	7. Chapter 7

entry_7

Well that was frustrating. Unsurprising, seeing as so many variables were outside of my control, but still frustrating. Still, it could have gone worse.

I knew my chances weren't very good from the start, when I first teleported into the front room I mean. One of the Heavies and a sentry were in front of the entrance to the mine-shaft mowing down our Scouts, and I could just see the white fabric of a lab coat indicating a Medic was crouching behind one of the rocks nearby. All of the mercenaries were, of course, in RED uniforms. I hoped that with their current alliance it wouldn't matter if I talked with someone from BLU or RED, since there was almost no chance I'd be able to tell them apart, but it made me a little wary given how hard it can be for humans to let go of old rivalries. Nothing I could do about that though, so I didn't think on it too much.

I had to move quickly. They wouldn't hesitate to take advantage of my inactivity if given the chance, and their attention was already turned toward me as the Administrator had announced my arrival. It was always a little odd to hear her voice echoing out over the battlefield, knowing it was no longer directed at me, but that hardly even entered my mind this time around. My focus was on the laser from the wrangled sentry as it swung toward the shaft of light marking the teleporter's position and, of course, my own.

The bullets passed almost alarmingly close as I hauled my sentry a little ways from the teleporter. They hit the rock wall beside me and threw back chips that scratched at the paint on my arms, but the other Engineer wasn't moving fast enough to actually peg me. I managed to duck behind a boulder, and quick as I could before they could throw anything else at me got that sucker set up. The boulder narrowed its range to a small segment of the path, so it was a pretty bad position from Gray's perspective, but it was also real hard to get at it without being in range of its projectiles.

Objective one: complete.

Now even with a horde of other robots flooding the area, the humans were pretty dead set on coming after me, or more accurately on destroying my teleporter. I heard a roar of anger from the Heavy and heard him trudging toward my position, along with a bunch of electronic screams from the Scouts that got in his way. The Medic was evidently still with him and in a state of heightened anxiety.

Medic unit: The bomb, do not forget about the bomb!

Heavy Weapons unit: Others will guard bomb!

Medic unit: But what if they are overwhelmed? There are many robots und only three of them!

Heavy Weapons unit: Teleporter is still important. If you are worried about others, go help them. I can crush little robot by myself!

Medic unit: (unintelligible German muttering) Fess... at least MY team's Heavy listens to others on occasion.

Heavy Weapons unit: BLU team's Heavy is not here today. I am here.

At this point I stopped actively listening to their bickering because I had what I needed. The Medic was a known BLU, ergo a prime target for the note. Now I didn’t want to approach him while the RED Heavy was right there fixing to riddle my metal exoskeleton with bullet holes, so I took advantage of their momentarily diverted attention to sneak around toward the cave’s exit. A glance back, once I was out in the open, showed that I didn’t have a lot of time. The Heavy had started moving toward the teleporter again, and the Medic was turning my way toward the exit.

I moved faster, though I still did my best not to clank too much and thus alert the Medic to my position prematurely, then waited by the building just outside the tunnel. I made sure my weapons were put away. It’s not easy to not look threatening in this new body, but I did my best. The Medic was not long in coming.

Medic unit: …as though we do not know what we are doing. Just because I am not from his team, it does NOT mean—ooh, money!

He crouched to scoop up the small stack of bills from the ground, then froze. He’d walked within a few feet of me without realizing it and was staring at my boots. I lifted my hands to show that I wouldn’t attack before taking a step forward. He immediately stood up.

Objective two: complete.

E-001: I’m not going to hurt you or anything. Please don’t run.

Medic unit: What do you want? Stay back if you enjoy being alive!

E-001: I just want to talk with you, Medic, now calm down.

Medic unit: Mein Gott, you are trying to capture me aren’t you? AREN’T YOU? IT WON'T WORK!

E-001: What—now hang on just a second, it’s me Medic! D—

But then he threw a rock at me and ran the other way. His arm’s good, I’ll give him that; the rock hit me in the face and made my vision flicker for a moment. By the time I’d recovered entirely he was about fifty feet away from me, running in a zig-zag pattern and readying his syringe gun. For a minute I didn't know if there was any point pursuing him, as he runs a lot faster than I ever could, except then I heard a roar from behind me.

Heavy Weapons unit: Doktor! What happened?

Medic unit: HELP! ASSISTANCE BITTE, IT IS TRYING TO CAPTURE ME!

As the Medic shouted he turned to fire needles back at me over his shoulder, glasses crooked and his eyes a little too bright. Now I've suspected for a long time that those needles can't be just plain medical syringes, and the way they pierced my metal casing was enough to confirm those suspicions. Getting a face full of them even as a robot was no laughing matter, and I'd have stopped to yank one out from where it jammed in my jaw's joint if I couldn't hear the Heavy barreling after us.

E-001: Dammit Medic, stop!

Medic unit: *choked laughter* ICH WERDE SIE UMBRINGEN MASCHINENMENSCH!

Heavy Weapons unit: COWARD ROBOT, I WILL CRUSH YOU!

The pain from bullets ripping through metal plating isn't as bad as when I was flesh and blood, mind, but it's still pretty nasty. When the Heavy opened fire, that pain was a very clear reminder that I only had a set amount of health and it was draining fast. There was nothing for it but to pull back, try to hide, and if I survived keep my eyes open for another opportunity to approach someone.

I swerved out of the Heavy's line of fire and into that central building, then out the other side, and down behind some more boulders into a ditch. By the time the human had exited the building after me, I was safely out of sight. I heard his footsteps come to a stop, pause, then with a low grumble he started moving again. It was a full minute before I looked out to see if he was really gone, and thankfully he was.

Objective three: failed.

The damage he'd done wasn't too severe. I was still functioning, and the holes hadn't exposed any vital bits of machinery. It was safe to continue.

I continued down the new path I'd found myself on, opting to avoid the Heavy and Medic for now. The others would be guarding the bomb as the Heavy had said, and assuming that the Medic had a reason to be as concerned about it as he was, it'd be somewhere down near the point. And if it wasn't there, someone might die and get thrown back to respawn soon enough anyways.

I was pretty sure I had it all figured. Then my boot bumped something hard on the ground. I looked down just in time to see the sticky bomb detonate.

It threw me back a good ten feet where I landed flat on my back, and my vision fizzled again. When it cleared, I was greeted by a familiar and not altogether welcome grin. The Demoman was sitting on the bomb, his scrumpy in one hand and his single eye trained on me. I staggered to my feet, trying to assess the damage he'd done.

Demolitions unit: Don't bother calling for help, boyo. Your little friends are all blasted to oblivion by now.

E-001: I had no intention of c-calling for help.

Demolitions unit: Aw, ye sound a wee bit frightened there mate. I didn't think ye mechanical types were scared of anything.

E-001: I'm not sca-ared. You must've d-d-damaged my vocal-calization hardware.

Demolitions unit: Sure I did. The fact that you're the last robot left on the field can't have ANYTHING to do with it of course.

He gave me a hard kind of look and got up off of the bomb so it was between him and me.

Demolitions unit: Well then lad, if you aren't frightened, why don't you come and take the bomb from me?

E-001: I-I don't want to.

The Demoman laughed kind of incredulously and took a swig of his scrumpy.

Demolitions unit: Aye? And why's that then? Lost your nerve, robot?

E-001: I have a m-message to deliv-liver.

Demolitions unit: Oh do ye now? Well we won't be hearing anything Gray has to tell us, and you can crawl back there and tell him after I blow your legs off.

E-001: It's not f-from Gray.

And then he really looked surprised. I reckon he almost dropped his bottle at that point.

Demolitions unit: Then who the bloody hell is it from, if it's not--

He was interrupted by a loud shout of dismay.

Soldier unit: PRIVATE! WE DO NOT FRATERNIZE WITH THE ENEMY, AND IN CASE YOU DID NOT NOTICE THAT IS NOT OUR ENGINEER!

Demolitions unit: Not YOUR Engineer is what ye mean, now lay off!

Soldier unit: HE IS NOT YOUR ENGINEER EITHER!

Demolitions unit: You don't say! And here I was about to invite him to tea with me mum— OY! WATCH IT!

The Soldier didn't even give me time to respond. The rocket went off at my feet, and this time it was bad enough I didn't feel much. One minute I could feel the lower half of my body, and the next minute it was laying beside me on the ground, half-burned green bills spilling out of the innards. My vision dimmed considerably, but I could still make out a pair of boots and a red flame retardant suit approaching me.

The argument between the Soldier and the Demoman faded to the meaningless babble it was as the Pyro got closer. I scrabbled weakly at the loosened plates over my chest, fingers prying for the slip of paper I'd wanted to hand over. If a Pyro killed me, there wouldn't be any chance of anyone reading the note.

It wasn't there. Urgency and frustration penetrated my mind like needles.

E-001: P-p-p...

The Pyro stooped and nudged my head with his flamethrower. My attempts at speech died into static. I could barely move.

Soldier unit: ...AND IF I SEE YOU SHOWING ONE OF THOSE OVERGROWN COMMIE TOASTERS ANY SORT OF MERCY ON THE FIELD, MY BOOT WILL GO SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT YOU WILL NEED VERY UNPLEASANT BUTT SURGERY TO GET IT OUT AGAIN! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?

Demolitions unit: I would have destroyed it myself if you hadn't stolen my kill, ye blithering windbag! It's the last one on the field anyways, and I thought— what's this now?

The Pyro tilted his head, considering me for a moment. I let out another burst of static, trying to plead with him, but it was no use. I turned my optical receptors toward the humans, hoping that maybe I could get their attention.

The Demoman was staring with raised brows at a piece of paper he appeared to have picked up off the ground. His eye widened, and he gave me a disbelieving look.

Demolitions unit: Dell?

Then the Pyro pulled the trigger on the flame thrower. Everything got very bright, and then very dark.

Objective three: complete.

I only just respawned. It's irritating that I didn't get more of a chance to explain the situation, but there's nothing for it now. All I can do is wait for the next round and hope for the best.

/entry_7


	8. Chapter 8

entry_8

One day has passed since my attempted correspondence with BLU and our return to headquarters. Gray called me in to talk with him in his office one hour ago. This is the first time he's corresponded with me personally since setting me to work after my transformation.

His office is large and well-lit but devoid of needless ornamentation. When I came in he was standing in front of his desk with his arms crossed and a slight frown on his face. I figured I was in trouble though he didn't look real angry.

E-001: You wanted to see me?  
Master Gray: Shut the door.

I complied and watched him expectantly. He still didn't look upset, just kind of thoughtful.

Master Gray: I wanted to talk with you about your performance in the battle yesterday.  
E-001: Is that right.  
Master Gray: Mmm. The footage proved rather disappointing. I was hoping that you would have retained some concept of strategic thinking from your past, ah, experiences.  
E-001: Well I'm sorry to hear I've disappointed you and all, sir, but I'm not sure it's my fault.  
Master Gray: Indeed.  
E-001: Yeah. It's pretty common for traumatic experiences to be followed by memory failures.

Gray's eyes narrowed just a little before he continued.

Master Gray: That may be. Either way, I am mildly concerned that this may be more than a case of "memory failure", as you so quaintly put it.

He turned to a screen set into the wall just behind his desk. The lights dimmed, and an overhead shot of the battlefield flickered into view. I guess he's got a hidden camera situated at the Mann Co. headquarters. He fast-forwarded the footage to where I came out of the mine shaft, and I tensed a little bit. Gray pointed to the screen.

Master Gray: I found this decision of yours in particular quite interesting. Not only did you exit the main area without your teleporter or sentry gun, but you waited beside it until the enemy's Medic came into view. Then you proceeded to follow him without firing once. Why?

I didn't respond.

Master Gray: I'm waiting.  
E-001: We... used to fight together. I heard them talking in there, and I found out he was from BLU, and... yeah.  
Master Gray: Mmm. Sentiment doesn't become you, E-001.  
E-001: That is not my name.  
Master Gray: No. It's your identification code. You don't require a name.

I glared at him real close. He was still watching the screen and didn't respond.

Master Gray: Regardless of your reasoning or lack thereof, it is interesting that you would loiter by the entrance for so long. You should know better than to stay in one place away from your particular brand of automated weaponry for an extended period of time. It seems almost as if...

He trailed off. 

E-001: As if what? Sir?

Master Gray: It's irrelevant. I'm sure you wouldn't be foolhardy enough to actually attempt to contact them, not after you defected. They certainly wouldn't respond well.

I was silent. A tiny burst of monochromatic flame marked where the Pyro melted me to slag at the video's end, then the screen shut off. The lights returned to normal. Gray turned to face me, and the smug bastard had the nerve to smile, all cool and professional-like.

Master Gray: At any rate, I trust that you will put more of an effort into all subsequent fights, yes? If your performance improves enough, perhaps some means of compensation--  
E-001: Go to hell.

That only seemed to amuse Gray more. He chuckled.

Master Gray: Have it your way. But a word of advice before you leave.

I didn't say anything. I'd already walked to the door and had my hand on the handle, but I knew better than to leave without listening to what he had to say.

Master Gray: When we first met, I gave you an opportunity to become more than a hired gun. I gave you the chance to reach out and accomplish something great, yet you squandered it. You attempted to contact outsiders and to abandon our operation.  
E-001: I didn't know we'd be fighting my teammates, Gray. You know I wouldn't have accepted if I'd known how it would turn out.  
Master Gray: That's your business. What I know is that you forced my hand. It seemed that your current state would prevent future escape attempts due to its unsuitability to any life not under my control. But even now I wonder if it was enough.

His eyes narrowed again. For a second he reminded me of a shark.

Master Gray: Just something to think about. You may resume your post, E-001.

I don't know how much he knows or thinks he knows about my current activities. Apparently he hasn't been asking 0031 any questions lately, given the Medic-bot was telling the truth earlier, and I don't think he's having me tailed. Either way, I need to proceed with caution. Miserable as I am, he could make my life a lot worse if he felt so inclined.

Still need to look up when the next attack is scheduled.

/entry_8


	9. Chapter 9

entry_9

I found something out today, and I'm not sure what to think about it.

0031 approached me at 0246 hours outside of the general repair station for standard units. He was shaking and kept wringing his hands, so I figured he was excited about something.

0031: Your shift has just finished, ja?  
E-001: Yeah, but I'm set to work at Assembly Line 44 Level 1 next. Why?  
0031: Level 1... yes, that is far enough away. They would not miss you for a few minutes I think. They would think you were simply stuck in a crowded corridor.  
E-001: What are you talking about?  
0031: Never mind, just follow me bitte. I have something, er, interesting to show you, involving a certain something I showed you before.  
E-001: Right. Well if this gets me in trouble with Gray I'm going to be ticked. He's already breathing down my neck about the last match.  
0031: Yes yes, of course, we can be very careful. Just follow me Herr-- I mean, E-001.

He glanced around nervously to make sure no one overheard, but we were alone. It was a bad idea to call me by anything but my code in public areas for obvious reasons. I followed him without further remark, hoping that we wouldn't draw any attention to ourselves before we reached our destination.

I wasn't surprised when we wound up back in the workroom I'd followed him to before. The tools were still laid out, but the removed organs were suspended in some sort of fluid in jars. The bird was not there. I turned as he carefully shut the door behind us.

0031: Gut, we should not be interrupted now.  
E-001: Where's the experiment, doc? Did you have to throw it out?  
0031: Er... well, no, but I did have to replace a gut many of the parts. They began to deteriorate. For all of its self-repairing advantages, organic matter has an incredibly short shelf-life. It is quite impractical as a construction material.  
E-001: Is that what you brought me in to tell me?  
0031: Oh no, just wait a moment, I wanted to show you the progress I have been making. It is quite impressive, if I do say so myself, und... well, I did want someone to see it besides me.  
E-001: All right. Where is it?   
0031: I, well, I am not sure. Nur ein Moment, bitte.

And then he started to move around the room, stooping down as best as he could at times to peer under the work benches or to check in the various open storage crates in the back, muttering to himself the whole time. A few times I thought he was going to lose his balance, and I would have to help him up off the floor. He didn't though, and soon enough he exclaimed softly.

0031: Ah! Here it is, I have found Drei!  
E-001: Dry?  
0031: Ja, I named her after me.  
E-001: How does Dry mean it's named after... oh. Drei.  
0031: Yes, I just told you that. But here, I think you may appreciate this.

And then he wheeled over carrying this bundle of feathers and wires and metal plating. The bird's legs had been replaced with little wheels like the landing gear of a toy airplane, and a small battery of some type I hadn't seen before was strapped to its back. The neck had a metal brace around it, while a matching plate was set into its chest. The head was almost untouched.

The bird looked at me and cooed.

E-001: 0031, this isn't a good idea.   
0031: If you are worried that I don't know the proper procedure for the upkeep of organic beings, then rest assured that I have done a bit of research on the matter. I have the proper fuel, und water, und a place for Drei to stay so she does not get too stressed--  
E-001: That's not the point. What's going to happen if Gray finds out about this?   
0031: He's not going to I don't think, if I'm careful, and... it's like I said before, I am not really doing anything wrong. So long as I keep Drei happy und quiet, it should be fine.

He set the bird down on the table, and she wheeled around in a circle with another coo. I couldn't help but be a little impressed. Besides the wheels, Drei seemed pretty normal. 

E-001: Can she fly?  
0031: Ah, no, not yet. I'm still working on a mechanism to counteract the weight of her new parts, but it shouldn't be too difficult.  
E-001: How did you find the time to do any of this? I don't get more than half an hour to myself ever, and that's a pretty rare occurrence.  
0031: Er, well... I am given some liberties as to free time, because of how old I am.  
E-001: Old?  
0031: Ja. I am the oldest surviving model at the moment. 0218 is the second oldest. I think the next oldest is somewhere in the 0300s... but anyway, Gray allows me more time for repairs und the like because of this. I will be six months old next week.

And of course I felt kind of stupid then, since his number was the lowest out of all the other robots. He must have been the 31st unit that Gray made.

E-001: So... so that's why 0218 is worried about you getting decommissioned, right?  
0031: Oh. Yes, I suppose so. But he doesn't know any better.  
E-001: You sure?  
0031: Oh come now Herr Engineer, you know better than anyone that we are structurally sound enough to operate quite well for extended periods when we are not being riddled with bullets.

I was about to argue about how Gray might not want to keep him around if he wasn't fit for combat anymore, but something about his sentence made me pause.

E-001: What's that supposed to mean, I should know better than anyone?

He stopped and looked at me kind of funny. He'd picked up the bird again, and she was preening herself in his hand.

0031: Don't you remember?  
E-001: Remember what?  
0031: Your, erm, how should I put this... your operation?  
E-001: Wait. Wait just a damn minute, you know who I am?  
0031: Well yes, I thought you remembered.  
E-001: Remembered WHAT?  
0031: Well... that I was there, ja? Herr Gray couldn't do it all by himself after all.

I left the room at that point.

I don't know what to think.

/entry_9


	10. Chapter 10

entry_10

It has been approximately two days since 0031 told me about his role in my "operation".

I talked with 0218 today. I was understandably concerned for my safety at his approach given the nature of our last encounter. I was working alone on one of the tanks' engines at the time, and it occurred to me that if he damaged me beyond mobility, it might be hours until I was found. My hand closed around a wrench I had been using as I stood up. Old habits die hard, I guess.

He stopped just outside of swinging distance.

E-001: What do you want?  
0218: 0031 says Engineer robot will not talk to him when he is working.  
E-001: No I haven't been talking to him lately. But how's that any of your business?  
0218: Because 0031 is being stupid and will not talk with you about problem. He is moping.

My grip on the wrench loosened. I'd been expecting another attack, not a discussion on interpersonal issues. It put me at something of a loss.

E-001: Moping. You sure?  
0218: Da. It is bothering me.  
E-001: Why though? I thought so long as you robots-- I mean...  
0218: What is E-001 saying?  
E-001: Well, we're robots, right? What all do we have to mope about anyways, so long as Master Gray's happy?  
0218: Maybe he is lonely and does not like when E-001 does not talk to him.

He said this like it was obvious. I didn't know how to respond.

0218: Just talk with 0031. The moping is depressing to me. Also... I am sorry about pulling your arm.

Without another word he stomped off.

He'd left me with a lot of information to process, but I had three hours until my next shift with 0031. I used it to sort through things as best as I could. When I finally found myself entering the repair station, I noticed that he didn't look up or acknowledge my presence in any way.

E-001: Why'd you do it?

He flinched, just a little, and dropped the gearbox he'd been working on.

0031: Was, bitte?  
E-001: Why'd you help Gray with this?

He turned to face me, fidgeting and with his head slightly to one side.

0031: I do not understand.  
E-001: You ruined my life. I want to know why. There's not much to understand there.  
0031: I... did not know I was ruining your life, Herr Engineer.

Something in my head snapped.

E-001: Do you really expect me to believe that?  
0031: Well it is the truth. Herr Gray required my assistance on a project, und so I helped, und that is all that happened.  
E-001: Yeah, you helped all right. You want to know why I don't remember y'all being in there in the operating room?  
0031: Er... I thought maybe it was because all of us Medic-bots look the--  
E-001: It's because I couldn't FOCUS. It wasn't like Gray told me what he was doing and let me get ready for it. He just had them wrestle me down onto a gurney and stick me with something so I wouldn't move so much, and I remember him looking real smug before everything just DISSOLVED. I know pain. I've been ripped apart and blown to pieces and charred and stabbed and pumped full of lead more times than I can count, and I came back and just shrugged it off, but this... I couldn't think, I couldn't escape, I'd of screamed if I'd been able. You saw it happen. And you have the gall to stand there, looking me dead in the face, and say that you didn't know you were ruining my life.

0031 wasn't looking me in the face though. He was looking at the ground, and it just made me more pissed at him.

E-001: Well?  
0031: I trusted that Herr Gray knew best, that is all. Perhaps I was wrong.  
E-001: You think?

His head snapped back up. His face may not have been able to move, but I got the feeling he was glaring at me.

0031: You betrayed him, E-001. Of course there were going to be repercussions. Und what was I supposed to do, tell him no?  
E-001: That would've been a start, yeah.  
0031: He offered me a job that wasn't healing these... these idiot machines that die almost instantly. Before I would go out to battle, und we would win, but then the next day everyone I had fought with was dead. Every last one. At first I didn't care; we only existed to serve Herr Gray after all, und I would shout "Heil Gray" with the rest of the robots before running out there, completely reckless, ready to die because I was nothing. Maybe I am still nothing. But it began to wear on me. I started asking questions, und I started to care when the others did not come back from battle. Und soon I just hated it. They were stupid like I had been und not worth healing, und they died before they could become anything more. Und then Herr Gray realized how long I had been alive, und he said... he said I didn't have to fight anymore if I would help him with something else, something new. And it fascinated me.

He shifted his position a bit closer to me, still glaring. I glared back.

0031: I was encouraged to actually think for once. I was told I mattered, that I was capable of something more than just fighting someone else's war. I didn't know what the consequences would be until it was too late, und even then... well. I didn't know you personally, did I? Und Herr Gray was punishing you for betraying him. He thought it was fair, und so I did also.

It was silent for a minute. He shook his head and turned back to the table.

0031: Just... leave. I can do the rest of the shift on my own. Tell them you needed a tune-up if they ask.  
E-001: Hang on buster, I'm not through talking--  
0031: Yes you are, Herr Engineer. Goodbye.

I stared at his back for a bit, then left.

Looking back on the conversation, I can't say that he was entirely in the wrong.

/entry_10


	11. Chapter 11

entry_11

0031 did not come in on time today.

It was 1504 hours, four minutes past our scheduled time to begin working in Routine Maintenance Station 23, when two units ran past the door. I poked my head out to see if 0031 was with them, but it was just a couple of Scout-bots. What immediately got my attention was the crowd gathered at the end of the hall.

E-001: Hey! What's going on?  
0395: *BEEPBOOP* Master Gray's taking someone to be reset!  
0396: Yeah, this is like the first time it's happened in forever! *BEEP* They must be malfunctioning real bad for the Maker to get involved.  
E-001: Reset? You mean like he's wiping their memory?  
0395: What are you, freakin' stupid? *BOOP* What else would reset mean?

I just stared while they ran off again. Then my brain kicked back into gear and I took off after them. It took a minute to get up to the crowd and another to shoulder my way to the front of it. Once I did, I kind of wished I'd stayed back in the workroom.

0031 was hanging on to 0218's arm as though he might fall over without the other unit's support. Two Soldier-bots were advancing on them, while Gray stood behind and furthest from the crowd, looking impatient. I shoved my way out in front of the gathered units.

0218: Doktor must stop. Master Gray is right.  
0031: NEIN! There has been a mistake; you don't understand what happened!  
Master Gray: I think I understand what happened perfectly, 0031. Someone broke into my office and took a ream of paper, unless you wish to suggest that it suddenly grew legs and crawled out by itself-- do you need something E-001?

I glared at him. I knew full well Gray was talking about the paper 0031 had taken for me earlier, and I'd be damned before I stood by without doing anything about it.

E-001: Gray, you can't do this!

One of the Soldiers turned on me while the other tried to pry 0031 away from 0218.

0484: THAT IS INSUBORDINATION MAGGOT! *BEEPBAPBOOP* YOU WILL REFER TO MASTER GRAY AS MASTER GRAY, MASTER, OR THE MAKER AND THAT IS AN ORDER!  
E-001: I'll be as insubordinate as I want! Y'all can't go and erase 0031's memories just because of some paper!  
Master Gray: 0484, stand down. I can handle the situation.

The crowd and everyone got real quiet as Gray took a step toward me, a slight frown on his face. I clenched my fists and glowered down at him. It was kind of nice to be taller than someone for once, though it didn't help my position none.

Master Gray: Now. What exactly are you saying that I can and cannot do, E-001?

I swallowed what I really wanted to say.

E-001: I am saying that this seems like an overreaction, Master Gray. Couldn't y'all discipline him without putting him back to factory settings?  
Master Gray: Put who back to factory settings, exactly?  
E-001: 0031 of course.

And he gave me a little smile like he thought me getting mad was funny.

Master Gray: You seem a bit confused, E-001. You see, I have no intention of wiping 0031's memories.

0218 finally extricated himself from 0031's grip and walked toward Gray. The Soldiers fell in on either side of him.

0031: No! He didn't take the papers! Listen to me bitte!  
0218: Doktor should stop talking about things he does not know. I told Master Gray I took paper when he asked where paper went.

He turned and looked at us real hard, like he was trying to tell us something without using words. 0031 was wringing his hands and shaking so hard he rattled. I stood there dumbstruck.

0218: Engineer should make sure Doktor stays out of trouble. You can do this, da?  
E-001: I'll do my best.  
0218: Good.

Then he turned and walked off with the Soldiers. Gray watched me narrowly. Then real calm and even, not yelling at all, he addressed me.

Master Gray: You seem to be under the impression that your stay with us has been an unpleasant one, E-001. Please rest assured that it can get much, much worse, especially if your performance doesn't improve by the next match. You have two days to prepare. Use it wisely.

And he nodded and just walked off after the others.

The crowd started to break up, and I rushed over to help 0031. He was still shaking so bad I wasn't sure he'd be able to get back to the maintenance station unassisted.

E-001: Come on, let's get you out of the hallway.  
0031: I-I am sorry.  
E-001: It's not your fault. He's your friend, of course you're going to be shook up about--  
0031: N-not about this. I m-meant for... for the thing th-that I did that made you angry w-with me.

Neither of us bothered checking to see if anyone was listening in or said anything else. There wasn't anything else to be said.

I did the shift by myself. He slouched in the corner, shaking, and I just didn't know what to do or say to make him feel better.

All I can think now is that it's all my fault.

/entry_11


	12. Chapter 12

entry_12

It's been nine hours and twenty minutes since 0218 was taken away to have his memory wiped. This means I have about fourteen hours and forty minutes until the next match starts and I attempt my second contact with the humans.

I'm on my next shift with 0031. When he came in one hour and eight minutes ago, he wasn't shaking anymore. I immediately turned to assess his condition.

E-001: How're you feeling?  
0031: I... don't know.

This wasn't conclusive, so I requested more information.

E-001: What's that supposed to mean?  
0031: It means what I said, that I do not know how I feel.  
E-001: Oh. Well... well what did you do after our shift?  
0031: I went to see Drei.  
E-001: And Drei's doing all right?  
0031: She is fine. Lonely I think, because she is stuck by herself all the time, but functioning properly. Pass the drill, bitte.

I passed him the drill, and we continued our repairs on the processor in silence for some length of time.

0031: I saw 0218 in the hall.  
E-001: What?  
0031: I tried to talk with him. I thought... well. It does not matter. He did not recognize me.

I waited a minute to process my response.

E-001: I don't really know what you expected. Gray said he was wiping his memory, didn't he?  
0031: It seemed worth a try at least. He was so... so much further along than any of the others. I think, if robots are capable of having friends, we might have been friends. We cared about one another at least. And then when I went to talk with him, the others with 0218 said I was just an old defective robot and...

He trailed off and shuddered just slightly. I approximated a sigh, more out of habit than anything.

E-001: I don't see how that makes a difference though. If he's reset completely, trying to talk with him is only going to make things worse for you, isn't it? He's not going to suddenly just get all those memories back.  
0031: Ja, I suppose. But I did think that there might be some retention. I have an idea, about the processor und the programs, the... the mind und the body in your terms. They are linked I think, und if something happens to one it has to affect the other, ja?  
E-001: Well... yeah, otherwise none of you robots would work at all. But what's this got to do with anything?  
0031: I just had a thought that the... the self-programming that comes through our experiences und our reactions to those experiences, they might permanently affect the way the hardware works. And even wiping the memories might not... oh I don't know. It is difficult to explain.

I thought I understood what he was getting at, but now that he'd brought the topic of minds and bodies up I was feeling distinctly uncomfortable. I changed the subject.

E-001: Why do you listen to Gray anyways?  
0031: Was, bitte?  
E-001: Why do you do what he says and let him get away with stuff like wiping your friend's memory?

He stared at me in a stunned silence. It was as though he was having trouble processing what I'd just said.

0031: He... is the Maker. I was made to do what he says.  
E-001: Yeah, but look at what he's trying to do. He doesn't care about you or 0218 or anyone but himself.  
0031: But he made me. He's a human, I am only a robot.  
E-001: There's plenty of humans out there who wouldn't take advantage of you like this though. I mean, I care about you don't I? And you're forgetting that even if Gray made you, I was the one that drew out your blueprints. I designed you. And when I drew out those plans, well I didn't mean for you to be disposable.  
0031: Well... that... I suppose that does make sense. But you are not human now either E-001.  
E-001: I am on the inside still.  
0031: Perhaps.

There was an uncomfortable pause. I turned back to work on the processor again.

E-001: I might not be coming back tomorrow. Just thought you should know.  
0031: But you respawn. Why wouldn't you come back?  
E-001: Because I want to go back to my old life, and if I can convince the humans-- I mean my old team to take me back, I'm going with them.  
0031: But you aren't human.  
E-001: I KNOW, all right? I know I'm not human, and I know I probably won't ever be human again, and that my teammates have no reason to trust me. I just thought it'd be best to tell you now instead of letting you get shocked if I just disappear tomorrow.  
0031: You don't have to go though, do you?  
E-001: Well I sure as hell can't stay here.

He went quiet at that point, and he hasn't said anything else during our shift.

/entry_12


	13. Chapter 13

entry_13

0031 told me goodbye before I left for the match today. It was strange. He usually avoids the front lines before an infiltration. I think it is because he knows most of the robots leaving won't be returning.

E-001: What are you doing here?  
0031: I simply, er, wanted to say goodbye. You know why I think.

None of the other robots were listening. Most of our attacking forces had gone out onto the field already anyways. Still, discretion was the wisest approach.

E-001: Right, yeah. I'll... I might see you later.  
0031: I hope so.  
E-001: What?  
0031: I only mean... I am sorry. I will go now.

I watched him leave, and a little twinge that might have been guilt twisted in my gut. My... not my gut. I don't have guts anymore.

I don't know why I'm bothering to record this. I'm in the field just now. No one has attacked me yet, though I can hear the others fighting behind me somewhere. We're on that stupid decoy map Soldier designed. It still baffles my mind why we're still trying to take the fake Mann Co. facilities when Gray knows full well it's just a ghost town. It's possible that he wants his troops to learn from their failures, but given the behavior of most of my fellow robots this is a lost cause.

I decided to go look for someone to talk to away from the frontlines after my sentry and teleporter were sapped. Going back toward spawn didn't work out well last time, I know, but now they have the message. If they don't assume that I can't respawn, there might be a chance of one of them allowing me to engage in conversation before terminating me again. Besides, I thought I saw the Scout proceed this way several minutes ago. The trouble is he doesn't seem to be here now. 

I know where the other five mercenaries are located, but they are in positions that would be difficult to approach without being destroyed. The Soldier and the Demoman are holding the front lines. The Engineer has set up his base of operations on the structure adjacent to the front walkway, on your left if you are proceeding from the tank. The Sniper is stationed on the building facing the tank where the pathway splits into a fork. And

wait

**!ERROR: EXTERNAL INTERFERENCE  
!ERROR: MOTOR FUNCTIONS OFFLINE  
!ERROR: FILE NOT FOUND**


	14. Chapter 14

entry_14

It is 2149 hours, Tuesday, January 16, 1973.

When I look back on the past three weeks, it seems silly how much time and energy I have spent planning out various escape possibilities and how to best contact Builder's League United. I knew there would be some sort of trouble once I met up with the humans, but that always seemed secondary to the goal of getting out, even after the poor reception I got when I made that first contact.

There's been some time to reconsider, and I have come to the conclusion that this was a serious oversight on my part. The sapper that interrupted my last entry made that pretty obvious.

Sappers do not affect robots in the same way they affect sentries and other machines. Instead of physically damaging me, it just overloaded my systems until I was disabled. It was highly unpleasant, like getting a strong electric shock and sensory/mental overload all at once, but all I could do was wait until the device depleted its power source and fell off.

When I came to, I was lying on my face where I'd been standing, and there was a considerable weight on my back. I could hear voices.

Scout unit: --like you could do it faster. It's like trying to move a freaking hippo.  
Spy unit: Stop whining and hold his arms. The sapper's effects will not last indefinitely you know.

The weight on my back shifted, and someone tugged my arms up so they were behind my back. That's when my brain kicked back into gear. I jerked hard, trying to get out of the Scout's grip, but he held on for dear life.

Scout unit: Crap, it's trying to throw me off!  
Spy unit: I told you to be quick about it!  
Scout unit: Shut up and help me hold this thing!

The weight doubled. I squirmed and continued trying to free my arms. The humans had them held in a very awkward position, so it was hard to do much of anything even if I had the advantage of strength.

E-001: Get off of me!  
Spy unit: Sniper! Some assistance please!  
E-001: Damn it Spy, it's me! Cut it out!

There were footsteps, and pretty soon I was staring at a pair of familiar leather boots. The barrel of Sniper's rifle dangled in front of my face.

Sniper unit: Hold still, or I shoot out your knees and you crawl to the base.

I held still.

Sniper unit: Now did you really need my help for that, Spook?  
Spy unit: Yes, well done Bushman. Now if you would watch him, I am going to secure his arms properly.  
Scout unit: Hey, I can tie knots just fine. Let me do it.  
Spy unit: Since when have I ever trusted your judgment in matters like this? Move.

The Scout grumbled, but he got off of me so Spy could get at my arms. It took a lot of self-control not to try and throw him off and run, but I managed. This was what I wanted anyways, wasn't it? They'd take me back to base, and then maybe I could explain the situation.

He got off of me once he was done securing my arms. I tested the knots as a matter of principle. There was no give.

Scout unit: I still don't know man, I mean it's made out of metal. You sure it won't be able to snap through that rope?  
Spy unit: Quite sure. Now, robot, get up.

I got up, somehow managing not to overbalance, and for the first time I could see their faces. It was strange, us looking at each other outside of any sort of fight, just measuring one another up. Spy looked about as smugly inscrutable as ever. Scout's expression was a mixture of his usual cockiness and an almost childish glee. Sniper though, he held my attention the longest. He didn't want to look me in the eye, and he seemed surlier than how I remembered him.

E-001: Any of you BLUs?  
Spy unit: That is none of your concern. Scout, tell the others that we have what we came for. They can let Gray's forces through soon if they wish. After all, this is only the decoy map.  
Scout unit: Psh, Soldier won't want to let them have it anyways. I bet he forgot it's even a decoy by now. He's such a dumbass.  
Spy unit: Just GO.

Scout gave me one more weirdly awe-struck look before taking off. My attention was still on Sniper. I figured that if these three had been planning to capture me, they were most likely all part of my team.

E-001: Demoman shared that note with you all, didn't he?  
Sniper unit: Shut it.  
E-001: But--  
Sniper unit: I'm not stupid. I saw what RED's Pyro did to the robot what delivered that note. Now are you going to be quiet or are you going to piss me off some more?

I was quiet. It hit me how that might look, if they believed that it had been me trying to contact them before. It wasn't as though they'd know that I could respawn. But maybe they thought I was trapped at the base and getting out messages to them through the robots. Or maybe they were just confused and looking for anything that might give them answers as to what was going on.

Scout came trotting back soon enough, grinning.

Scout unit: Yeah, they'll hold them off a little longer so we can get the hell out of here. Can I ride it?  
Spy unit: What?  
Scout unit: You know, like on its back! I think I might have pulled something rolling its fat ass over earlier, so the least it could do is--  
Spy unit: You are fine, now stop acting like a child. No one is going to ride on the robot.  
Scout unit: Geez, fine. Could I at least lead it in or something?  
Spy unit: Which part of 'stop acting like a child' do you not-- Sniper, what are you doing?

Sniper had taken the spare rope from Spy and started to secure it around my neck. I resisted the urge to jerk away from him.

E-001: The hell?  
Sniper unit: There Scout, if it'll make you shut up for five minutes.

He gave the end of the rope to Scout, who looked like he'd just been handed the keys to a new car. Spy pinched the bridge of his nose.

Spy unit: Don't encourage him.  
Sniper unit: Don't tell me what to do.

Spy rolled his eyes and pulled out another sapper. I took a nervous step backward, which he ignored.

Spy unit: Well then Scout, lead the way. Sniper and I will follow to make sure he does not try to escape.  
Scout unit: Sweet! You heard him pally, start moving!

Scout tugged on the rope enthusiastically, and I followed him like a wrangled steer. Sniper and Spy stayed just out of my range of vision, which I didn't like at all, but there wasn't anything I could do about it.

We marched for approximately 45 minutes, and nothing much happened. Gray must not have realized I was missing yet because no robots came after us. Sniper and Spy didn't seem to want to talk much, except to tell Scout to shut up on occasion. This was for the most part ineffective.

Scout unit: ...and what I'm saying is if we've got a robot around, it wouldn't hurt anything to name it something cool right? Maybe like Lance, or Sam, or Killer. Or maybe Rex. Ma never let us get a dog growing up because of the cost and like she thought we'd kill it or something, but I always said if I got a dog I'd name it Rex.  
Spy unit: Mon dieu, do you ever stop talking?  
Sniper unit: Eh, we're here anyways.  
Spy unit: GOOD.  
Scout unit: Hey, this is serious! We don't want to have to call it "the robot" the whole time right?  
Spy unit: Fine, call him Rex. No one else cares.

Sniper walked around us both without a word to Scout. We'd arrived at what looked like a run-down hotel, which wasn't too abnormal considering the abandoned mining facilities and the like that have served to disguise both RED and BLU bases in the past. He knocked on the front door.

Soldier unit: PASSWORD?  
Sniper unit: There's not a password you bleeding idiot, now let us in. We have the robot.  
Soldier unit: DAMN IT SNIPER! NOW THE ROBOTS KNOW THERE'S NO PASSWORD AND THEY'LL BE ABLE TO GET IN!  
Spy unit: How tragic.  
Scout unit: Just let us in already man; I've got to show everybody Rex and explain how I caught him! You're depriving the team of a quality story here!

I shifted my weight uncomfortably as Soldier unlocked the door, which took about three minutes total. Then Scout tugged the rope and led me down a cramped hallway. It was dark and pretty dusty, like whoever owned the place had abandoned ship months ago. I could see Soldier ahead of him in the blue glow of my visual receptors, and a door at the end of the hall with light filtering out from under it. We entered this last room, Spy and Sniper following me inside and shutting the door.

For the first time in six months, the entire BLU team was together again. Demoman and Pyro were on the couch, Heavy sat at a card table to one side, and Medic was standing in the middle of the room with his arms crossed like he'd been expecting us.

Scout unit: Hey, lookie at what Spy and me caught!

And he tugged on the rope again.

E-001: Will you cut that out?  
Soldier unit: HE DOES NOT HAVE TO CUT THAT OUT BECAUSE YOU ARE OUR PRISONER! NOW IF YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOOD FOR YOU, YOU WILL SHUT YOUR TRAP UNTIL WE ASK YOU A QUESTION! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?

I resisted the urge to call him a blowhard.

E-001: Yeah, I get it.  
Scout unit: Seriously though guys, you should've seen me leading Rex away from the fight all sneaky and stuff, you know. I was like a frikking ninja, just right ahead of it letting it see me, then WOOSH I'd duck behind something and it'd be all confused and looking around. If it wasn't for me, there ain't no way Spy'd have sapped it, that's for sure.  
Medic unit: Wallow in your imagined grandeur later, Scout. Bring the robot forward.

Scout made an annoyed expression and led me to the center of the room so the others formed a rough circle around me. I straightened up as well as I could and looked Medic in the eye. He looked far more composed than the last time we'd run into each other, thankfully, but there was something in his expression that suggested the fight with the robots was taking its toll on him. Or maybe that was my imagination. He always was off his rocker anyways.

Medic unit: Demoman, the note bitte.

Demoman reached over from his spot on the couch and handed the paper over. His eye flicked to my face uneasily as he did so, like he wasn't sure what to think about what was going on. Medic took it and held it in front of my face.

Medic unit: Now. Engineer-robot. Do you recognize this paper?  
E-001: Yes, I do.  
Medic unit: Where do you remember it from?  
E-001: From when I wrote it.

His brows rose. I could see the others moving around in my periphery, but no one said anything.

Medic unit: You wrote this? Why?  
E-001: Because I've been trying to escape from Gray for at least... what day is it?  
Medic unit: January the 16.  
E-001: Three weeks.  
Medic unit: Do you mean to say that you are, in fact, the Engineer for Builder's League United?  
E-001: Yes.

The others started talking at once.

Demolitions unit: See? I told ye it was him!  
Spy unit: But you brought the remains back yourself. That machine is dead.  
Heavy Weapons unit: Is it possible to put little man inside robot body?  
Soldier unit: MAYBE HE STOLE ONE OF MY DISGUISES AND HAS BEEN SPYING ON GRAY THIS WHOLE TIME! QUICK, SOMEONE PULL HIS HEAD OFF!  
Sniper unit: That don't change the fact that the RED Pyro melted down the one what was carrying that note to start out with.  
Pyro unit: (unintelligible mumbling)  
Demolitions unit: I don't know how it's possible, but I still say this is him!  
Scout unit: Does this mean I can't call him Rex anymore?  
Medic unit: SILENCE!

Medic ran a hand through his hair while the rest of everyone quieted down. Soldier was about a step away from trying to wrench my head off in hopes that it was really just a cardboard box with cups taped to it, and Pyro had come over to tap on my casing, apparently fascinated by the noise it made. The others had kept their seats at least.

Medic unit: Pyro, Soldier, sit down. Scout, Sniper, I would appreciate it if you would find a place to hold the robot while we discuss the feasibility of this explanation.  
E-001: Feasibility? Gray's entire robot army runs on money, you all are brought back to life by your employers multiple times a day, and somehow you don't think my explanation is feasible?  
Medic unit: No one asked for your input, Machinenmensch. Now go.

I wasn't done talking, but again my position didn't leave me a lot of choice. Scout guided me out with Sniper following, and soon enough they'd found a small room with the furnishings all taken out of it and a heavy metal bed. It was only with a lot of whining that Scout relinquished the rope to Sniper so he could tie it to the bedstead. For his part, Sniper didn't say anything until he was at the door getting ready to lock me in.

Sniper unit: You... are you really Dell?  
E-001: Well, yeah. Why would I lie about something like that?  
Sniper unit: I can think of a few good reasons.  
E-001: You've got to believe me Sniper, please.

He turned around and shut the door.

That was a few hours ago. I hope they make up their minds about me soon.

/entry_14


	15. Chapter 15

entry_15

It is 1655 hours, Wednesday, January 17, 1973.

I've kept myself in a low-power state for most of the day so far. There's no point idling when I've got no one to talk to and limited mobility. Besides, I need to preserve my fuel. Who knows how long I'll be here?

When I did come back online approximately thirty minutes ago, it was to find Scout uncomfortably close to my face. He had been prodding at my front.

Scout unit: Ha, told you I'd find the "on" button!

I got to my feet pretty quick. It didn't take long to see that Scout and me weren't the only ones in the room. Demoman and Heavy were near the door, and Pyro was peering over Scout's shoulder. Scout grinned.

Scout unit: Hey Rex! I brought in some of the guys so, you know, you could tell them about Gray and all the cool things you can do since you're a robot.  
E-001: I already told you I ain't really a robot. And my name ain't Rex neither.  
Scout unit: But--  
Demolitions unit: Oi, lay off him lad. If he doesn't want to be called by a name, then ye have no business calling him by it.  
Heavy weapons unit: Da, Demoman is right. Be nice to robot-man.  
Scout unit: You guys ain't any fun, you know that?

He crossed his arms and looked petulant while I sat back on the bed. Pyro was watching me real close, but I almost felt queasy trying to look back at him. Instead I looked at Demoman.

E-001: All right, I reckon the real reason y'all are here is you want me to prove that I'm me.  
Demolitions unit: The others might like that, but ye don't need to prove anything to me boyo.  
E-001: Really. How're you sure I ain't just a regular robot sent in to spy on you from Gray then?

Demoman drew himself up a little, almost indignant.

Demolitions unit: Because I know my own teammates, that's why! Ye may be different on the outside, but soon as I saw that note and looked at ye blasted to pieces on the ground, I knew we'd gone and killed a man, not a machine. I still haven't worked out how you're alive NOW, but by God am I glad ye came looking for us again.

Heavy shifted his weight and gave me a real stern look. I stared back at him.

Heavy weapons unit: But Demoman brings up good point for discussing. How are you still alive, robot-man? Or was that different robot that was dead on field?  
Demolitions unit: I already TOLD ye it was the same man.  
E-001: Well I don't blame him for asking. It's a good question.  
Heavy weapons unit: Da. So answer.

I tugged a little at the ropes on my arms, trying to make myself feel more comfortable. Hopefully this wouldn't sound too far-fetched.

E-001: Gray figured out how to rig up a respawn system. Just for me though. And it doesn't really work the same way as the one y'all are on does; it just uploads my mind into a new robot... shell when I die.  
Heavy weapons unit: Why is Gray not using this on all robots?  
E-001: I don't know. Maybe it doesn't work on regular robots.  
Heavy weapons unit: Why would he go through this trouble just for you?  
E-001: You got my first letter, didn't you? I designed all of the robots except for... for me. I figure he wants to keep me around in case he can pressure me into designing more stuff, plus I can repair his machines better than most of the robots he's got.

Heavy grunted and crossed his arms, still looking skeptical. Demoman rolled his eye.

Demolitions unit: You're just acting like that because Medic doesn't believe him.  
Heavy weapons unit: I can have opinion without doktor, and he can have opinion that is not mine. I am just thinking that proof would be good.

I tried not to sound exasperated.

E-001: Well I'm not sure what all you want me to tell you. It's me, but if you're wanting some sort of cold hard evidence there's not a lot I can do to change your mind.  
Scout unit: Even if you can't prove anything I'll get them to let you stay! You could like stay in my room, and I'd get you some kind of cool robot bed or something-- no, better, we could share a bunk bed. Those are freaking sweet. And maybe I could even get you some dog tags like mine! Except they could have your name on them or something.  
Demolitions unit: Ach, don't start with that again lad.  
Scout unit: Hey, I already called dibs on the robot if he's not Engie, you got that? I ain't about to give that up just because you're convinced it's really him.  
Demolitions unit: That doesn't mean I have to listen to you blither on! You've been prattling nonstop since you and Spy caught him, and you're well on your way to driving everyone mad!

I was going to interject, but then I realized that Pyro had slowly been scooting toward me all while we'd been talking. Now he was just about a foot away from where I was sitting, his head to one side. I couldn't really avoid talking with him anymore.

E-001: You... y'all know it's me, don't you?

It was hard to tell what he was thinking. His head kind of went to one side, and he drummed on my shoulder like he did yesterday. It sounded real hollow.

E-001: Pyro, I meant what I put in that letter. I really am sorry.

For a minute it looked like he was just gonna shrug and back off. Instead he flung his arms around me and squeezed real tight. Pyro's like that sometimes. I would have been grinning if I was still capable of it. It looked like Pyro recognized me after all.

Heavy cleared his throat then, and I realized everyone had gone quiet and was watching us.

E-001: Ease up a little buddy. You're going to give folks the wrong idea.

He didn't really listen, but when he was good and done hugging me he backed off. They left pretty soon after that. It was kind of awkward, and Scout couldn't stop snickering which meant Demoman was obliged to whack him over the head.

I figure the rest will be around to try and get some sort of proof about my identity before too long, but I'm not too worried about it anymore.

/entry_15


	16. Chapter 16

entry_16

It is 1913 hours, January 17, 1973.

Medic, Soldier, Spy, and Sniper came in about an hour ago. They knocked first then filed in, one after the other, all looking stern. I started to stand up.

Spy unit: Don't bother. We plan on conducting the interrogation here.  
E-001: Interrogation?  
Medic unit: You sound almost surprised, Kamerad. I thought you would be expecting something of this nature.  
E-001: I'm not surprised. Just...  
Soldier unit: JUST WHAT? SPEAK UP ROBOT SCUM!  
E-001: Nothing.

I sat back down all the way, watching them really close. Medic stood in the middle of the room with his hands clasped behind his back. Soldier kept a tight grip on his shovel like he thought he might have to beat me into submission at any moment. Spy just stood there like he usually stands places, smoking a cigarette. And Sniper leaned against the wall with his hat low over his face. He didn't seem to want to be involved.

Spy unit: Now, 'Engineer', explain to us exactly what happened to you after you left the employment of Builders League United.  
E-001: All right. You want me to start just after I left, or when I got to Gray's place, or what?  
Spy unit: Whichever you prefer.

I nodded and thought back to that time. It wasn't as precise and easy to recite as my memories from after I had been mechanized, so it took a second. Medic drummed his fingers against his arm.

E-001: When I first set out from that base, it was around about August. I put down that letter I wrote for you all and--  
Medic unit: Where did you place it, Machinenmensch?  
E-001: In Sniper's locker in the spawn room. I figured he'd show it to the rest of you guys.

Sniper made a non-committal noise.

Medic unit: Mm. Continue.  
E-001: Anyhow, after I had the letter put down I didn't bother packing most of my things. I needed to make a run for it with as little warning as possible since if the Administrator caught wind I was getting my stuff together she might cut me off. So I just... I grabbed a gun and some money, got in my pickup, and set out for Gray Gravel Company's headquarters.  
Soldier unit: SO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU BETRAYED US TO GRAY! I BET YOU'RE NOT EVEN FROM TEXAS YOU COWARDLY TRASH COMPACTOR!  
Spy unit: Soldier, he's already told us that he has been working for Gray. Let him finish.

Soldier grumbled something unintelligible, but the way he glared at me said enough about what he thought of the situation. I looked back at him best as I could. I could see out the corner of my eye that Sniper had looked up to watch us closely.

E-001: It was an act of self-preservation, you've got to understand. You might have thought you were fighting for some higher cause, but for the rest of us it's always been a job. We fought, we got paid, and we moved on to the next base. That's just how it worked.  
Soldier unit: YEAH WELL YOU DON'T SEE THE REST OF THE TEAM DEFECTING TO THE OTHER SIDE DO YOU?  
E-001: Damn it Soldier, I never said I was proud of what I've done. I made a mistake, but at least you can take solace in the fact that I'm paying pretty dear for it now.  
Soldier unit: NO SIR, I WILL NOT TAKE SOLSTICE IN THE WORDS OF A--  
Medic unit: Ach, let him speak or we will never finish!

Soldier glowered at Medic but stopped talking. I gave him a grateful little nod.

E-001: All right, so... I contacted Gray once I got near where his place is, and he let me in through security. Acted real gracious to start out with, you know, got me set up in a room and all. But he made it pretty clear from the start that I was working for him more than with him. I didn't like that much, but I wasn't about to say anything. He was protecting me from the Administrator anyways, and I guess you all too. So there I was, doing maintenance and helping to modify systems that weren't working as efficiently as we thought they should and all. Then one day I found out who Mann Co. had hired to fight off the robots.

I paused. Spy nodded.

Spy unit: And you felt guilty for aiding the fight against your old teammates?  
E-001: I reckon you could say that. Near the beginning, I think Gray caught wind of what was going through my head. My words weren't guarded enough maybe. I caught wise after that and stopped saying anything about it, but Gray kept watching me like... like he thought I'd bolt at any second. And it started to seem like he was planning something. But you all got that letter. I didn't like the situation, and I decided to make a run for it.

I paused again.

Sniper unit: Except he turned you into a robot first.  
E-001: Yeah.  
Sniper unit: How?

I didn't want to elaborate. It was kind of painful to think about, even if the worst parts were hazy. Still, it seemed the best way to convince them of who I was would be to be as straightforward as possible.

E-001: They knocked on the door first. I turned the letter over real fast and slipped it under a book, just in case, but I had to open the door. If I didn't Gray'd get suspicious and any chance I'd have of getting out would be gone. So I opened the door, and it was Gray, see, except there were some robots with him too. And he was just acting normal-- for him, I mean. He said there was some problem he wanted my opinion on and it'd be great if I came and took a look at it. I followed, but I didn't like it at all. The only good thing was that I had a gun on me, though a pistol wouldn't be a good deal of use against the whole army of robots at his disposal.

They were all listening quietly now. Medic was frowning.

E-001: So... so I followed him over to the experimental labs he's got set up, but he took me into one I hadn't seen before. It was about as full as any of them with all the equipment for making and repairing robots, and there was also some stuff that would've looked more at home in a hospital. In the middle though, there was something covered in a tarp. So I asked him if it was a new model of robot he'd been working on, sounding casual as I could. He said yes, that was what he'd been wanting to show me. And he took the tarp off.

I had to stop again.

Spy unit: And it was... what you are now, I presume?  
E-001: Yeah. Robot Engineer, new E-series he called it. And I figured I was done for, he was replacing me, but I nodded real polite and asked if he wanted to turn it on. Except then he told me that he hadn't put the processor in yet. And that's what he wanted my help with. I asked if there were more of them. He said no, not yet, because this was a prototype. Then he looked me straight in the face and said that he thought he might only need the one Engineer anyways.

My voice was starting to shake, but I didn't stop talking. It'd be easier to just say it all at once.

E-001: I pulled my gun out. Fired at him. He moved too fast though, got out of the way. The robots got me then, and there just wasn't anything I could do. I thought I was a dead man. Except instead of snapping my neck, they got me out of the room and took everything I had before strapping me down to a gurney. No explanations, no idea what Gray was planning, just... they wrestled me down and stuck me with some kind of sedative that made it hard to focus or move much at all before wheeling me back in. Most of them left at that point I think, except Gray and... yeah, one... one robot. And Gray smiled like a shark before he moved around to my head and started... started doing things. It hurt a lot.

That was a pretty serious understatement, but it wasn't like I was going to explain the sensations in detail. They wouldn't have had the patience for it anyways.

E-001: So I don't really know how long that went on for. Eventually my senses started to cut off, one at a time, until I was just left in complete darkness without being able to hear or do anything. It.. that was pretty bad. I was kind of hoping I'd die at that point, and wondering a little if I was dead already. Then everything just came back online, all at once. And I was a robot.

There was a little more to it than that, but I didn't want to go into the talk Gray and me had after I woke up for the first time. They were quiet again for a moment, just watching me.

Spy unit: And later you decided to contact us again, yes? Or was this something you tried to do immediately?  
E-001: I waited. I didn't want to come crawling back to you in this condition, not after I... yeah. But it got too much. I figured it was worth a shot anyways even if you all wouldn't help me. And that brings us here, more or less, unless you all have more questions.

Soldier shifted his weight though he didn't say anything. Sniper was watching me real close and was about as tense as an angry cat. Finally Medic broke the silence.

Medic unit: It may please you to know that we have one more test thought out that may clear this matter up further.  
E-001: What's that?  
Medic unit: A physical inspection. We have requested that RED's Engineer join us tomorrow evening to see if your hardware might be different from that of the other robots, perhaps in a way that would allow a mind to be uploaded into it. He has graciously accepted.

I tried to sound happy about this idea.

E-001: Oh. That's good. I... guess that'll work out real well.  
Medic unit: Ja. Now, unless the others have anything more they would like to ask...?

He looked at the other humans.

Sniper unit: Nah, I think we're done here.  
Medic unit: Gut. Then we shall see you tomorrow, Machinenmensch.

And they all filed out. Sniper watched me as he closed the door. For a second I thought he was going to say something, but he didn't.

I'm tired.

/entry_16


	17. Chapter 17

entry_17

It is 1706 hours, Thursday, January 18, 1973.

RED Engineer came today. I wasn't ready to see him up close outside of the battlefield.

Medic brought him in at 1336 hours. Soon as he walked through the door I froze up. It was like looking at myself in the bathroom mirror before any of this had happened. I didn't know how to respond.

He gave me a funny smile, all interested, and I looked down because I'd been staring at him like an idiot.

Engineer unit: Now isn't that something.

He walked up a little closer and squatted down so he could see my face better. I felt very uncomfortable. Medic cleared his throat.

Medic unit: We brought you to examine his processor, not so you could admire Gray's craftsmanship.  
Engineer unit: Nothing wrong with checking the exterior first. The construction don't seem all that different form the other robots; you sure it's--  
Medic unit: I am sure that the Machinenmensch continues to claim his identity, und that is all.

RED Engineer stood up again and looked back to Medic.

Engineer unit: Fair enough. You want to get him moved to the other room now?  
Medic unit: Don't you need to prepare first?  
Engineer unit: Oh go ahead and get it set up. I'll bring my stuff in and lay it out how I like after. It won't take long.

Medic nodded and without a word to me untied me from the bedpost. I stood up, and he led me out into the hall. RED Engineer kept watching me in a way I didn't quite like as we left.

E-001: Now what is he going to do again?  
Medic unit: That is none of your concern.  
E-001: I reckon it's some of my concern, seeing as it's me he's doing it to.  
Medic unit: (incomprehensible German muttering) Just be quiet und do what he tells you to do.

Not wanting to make him angry, I was quiet. He brought us into a room that apparently had been swept to minimize the amount of grit that might clog up my parts once they had my head opened. A solid wooden table stood in the middle. Medic pointed to it.

Medic unit: You, get onto the examination table.

I looked at the table without responding. He huffed.

Medic unit: I said--  
E-001: I heard what you all said. I'm just trying to figure out how to do it with my arms behind my back and all.  
Medic unit: Egh... fine, hold still.

I complied. He untied the ropes around my arms, then pointed to the table again. I climbed onto it.

E-001: Thanks doc.  
Medic unit: Do anything foolish und you will regret it.  
E-001: I know.

I sat quietly for two minutes and 41 seconds. That's when RED Engineer came in with his toolbox. He smiled at me again. I gripped the side of the table pretty hard.

Engineer unit: All right son, I'm going to need you to lay back for me.  
E-001: You're going to shut me off, aren't you?

He glanced over at Medic. Medic nodded slightly.

Engineer unit: Well, if you show us how to do it yeah. It'll be easier for everyone that way, and there'll be less chance of messing something up in your head.  
E-001: Yeah. Still.

I paused, then reluctantly pointed out a button half-hidden under the "overalls" making up my chest plate. RED nodded and, once he was sure I was ready, shut me off.

The next thing I knew Medic was cackling, and the other Engineer was leaning over me with his finger on my switch. He looked somewhere between excited and unnerved.

E-001: You done?  
Engineer unit: Yeah. Yeah, we're done, and... Doc'll tell you more, you're teammates anyways. He'd do better. But damn if I'm not... it's pretty incredible.

I started to sit up, feeling confused. But then something he'd said hit home.

E-001: Teammates? You... believe me? You think I'm--  
Medic unit: We have SEEN it mein hard-hatted friend! It is, as the RED has stated, incredible, and yet there it is! All the evidence we could need resting in your cranial cavity!

It only just registered that the Medic was standing right close and had his hand on my shoulder. I pushed it away before sitting up. My head felt normal enough, like they hadn't done anything weird to it and had put everything back how they found it. And what was more they actually believed me. They knew I was telling the truth. I turned to face my giddy teammate.

E-001: What'd you find exactly? Did you see how Gray--

Medic suddenly looked stern.

Medic unit: No, we are not discussing it right now. How are you feeling?  
E-001: Fine, why? Did you all mess with something in my head?  
Medic unit: Oh no. No of course not, it is just... I think you would benefit from some rest, mein Freund. Yes. Und the others may still be wary. I did tell them, of course, but if they are worried about your position as a traitor there is not much I can-- Ah! Sniper, very gut!

I looked back to the door to see Sniper standing there, hand still on the knob. He looked shaken.

Sniper unit: Oh. I was just seeing if there was anything what you needed help with. You know, with... anything. Yeah.  
Medic unit: Of course, of course, could you simply escort the Engineer back to his room bitte? I wish to discuss our, er, findings.

Sniper's eyes narrowed as he looked at the other Engineer.

Sniper unit: You mean with the RED?  
Medic unit: Oh there isn't really a RED or BLU anymore; you ought to stop thinking like that so much.   
Sniper unit: Old habits die hard, mate.  
Engineer unit: That's fair.

The Medic rolled his eyes and guided me up off of the table by the arm. I only just realized that the rope around my neck was gone too.

E-001: Hang on, I'd like to know more about what all you found. It's my head, and I figure I've got the right to--  
Medic unit: Egh, Sniper please.

Sniper grumbled incoherently but jerked his head for me to follow him. I turned back to Medic to press him for answers. The other Engineer intervened.

Engineer unit: It'd be a lot easier for everyone if you just cooperated. You know that right?

I glowered at him for a minute, but his reasoning was sound. I would not be justified in staying if it was only going to agitate the others into acting against me, especially now that I had somehow earned any amount of trust back from them. So without another word I turned and followed Sniper from the room.

We were quiet for forty-two seconds. My frustrations with the Medic died down, and I gave the Sniper a sidelong glance. He seemed to notice.

Sniper unit: It's really you then.  
E-001: Seems that way, yeah.  
Sniper unit: Mmhm. You... you feeling all right mate?  
E-001: I guess. Feel less like a misbehaving dog anyways.  
Sniper unit: Heh.

He paused.

Sniper unit: Why'd you come back?

I looked down. I'd been expecting a conversation like this.

E-001: Figured it was better than staying with Gray, even if you all didn't believe me or didn't want me around.  
Sniper unit: Except sooner or later she's going to find out.  
E-001: Well yeah, I thought about that, but... honestly it was worth the risk. She might have me put down or something but I couldn't... you weren't there Sniper, it's a soulless place and Gray's unbearable. The only good thing that happened there was...

Then I realized that I didn't really want to talk about 0031 just now. He looked at me funny.

E-001: You just weren't there. Trust me, it was worth it.  
Sniper unit: Might not be worth it for the rest of us, if she finds out we've been hiding a robot what used to work for her and ran off out of the blue.  
E-001: Well that's your decision, ain't it?

He pulled an irritated face.

Sniper unit: Bloody hell, do you think there's even the slightest chance we could just... just... geh. Forget it.  
E-001: No, what were you going to--

We were interrupted by a loud crash. It sounded like something heavy had been hurled through a window. On instinct we both threw ourselves to the floor.

Sniper unit: Piss.  
E-001: What the...?  
Sniper unit: Wait.

He scrambled to his feet and looked around, tense as a bowstring. I clambered up as well, more slowly and clumsily than him.

Sniper unit: Get back in your room. I'll come back when I know what's going on.  
E-001: Is that really nec--  
Sniper unit: If it's Gray or the Administrator, yeah it IS necessary.

I sighed artificially and went back to the room while he took off the other way down the hall. I've only been waiting for him for thirteen seconds. Hopefully Soldier just had to assert his manliness by smashing a window again.

/entry_17


	18. Chapter 18

entry_18

They found me in the room waiting for Sniper. I had only been there for one minute and nine seconds.

There were three of them: a Spy robot, a Pyro robot, and a Heavy robot. The Heavy pulled the door clean off its hinges when he came in. I backed away immediately. I recognized his serial number.

E-001: Back off, I mean it!  
0218: Do not be stupid. Master Gray sent us for rescue.  
E-001: I'm not going anywhere with you.

The Spy pulled out his revolver.

1197: Then I suppose it is back to the plan Master Gray suggested.

I took another step back. The Pyro was advancing slowly with his flamethrower raised, shaking in apparent anticipation. But 0218 glared at the other two.

0218: Nyet! It is not Engineer's fault he was captured, and I am taking back alive even if brain is malfunctioning!

I wasn't sure why 0218 was so keen on keeping me alive, but it seemed none of them knew that I would respawn back at Gray's headquarters as soon as they put a bullet through my processor-- granted that the respawning mechanism worked outside of the battlefield. Either way it seemed that momentary cooperation was most likely to prevent my death or my return to Gray's custody.

E-001: All right. If it's a choice between going with you or getting shot, I'll go.  
0218: Good. Engineer makes smart choice.

The Spy kept watching 0218 closely.

1197: You haven't been talking with 0031 perchance, have you?  
0218: You said 0031 was old and had glitches. Why would I talk with old robot?

I gave him a sidelong look. 1197 didn't seem all that convinced either, but he only shrugged.

1197: Just curious. 0996, if you would.

The Pyro nodded and led the way out of the room. The other two watched me pointedly until I left ahead of them.

Gunfire and shouts rang out from ahead. It didn't sound like BLU had been taken completely by surprise at least. It would only be a matter of time before we ran into someone, and sure enough, the next time we turned a corner it was to see Scout, Sniper, and Soldier finishing off a Demo robot. Scout spun around at our footsteps. 0996 let out a burst of fire from his flamethrower in warning. I could hear 0218's gun spinning up behind me.

Scout unit: Hey, get your mitts off Rex! He's ours!  
1197: Master Gray begs to differ. Now are you going to surrender or will we have to--

A shotgun blast went off. The Spy stumbled backward with a torso full of holes. Soldier readied his gun for another shot and charged. He and 0218 shouted at the same time.

Soldier unit: EAT LEAD YOU UGLY METAL BASTARDS!  
0218: ENGINEER, BEHIND ME!

I dropped to the floor and felt around desperately for a weapon. At the same time I scanned the environment, taking note of each combatant's position. The Scout's left arm was covered in ugly red burns. He was still holding his bat in both hands but was retreating backward from the Pyro. The robot, in turn, was severely dented. His flame thrower had been knocked from his hands, and he had stopped to pick it up again. Sniper closed in on him with his kukri before he could pick it up. 0996 didn't last long.

0218 was swinging his minigun up into position to fire on Soldier. Aiming a gun like that down a hallway can't be difficult, but Soldier wasn't making himself an easy target. He kept low to the ground and dodged around the others, always trying to get closer to 0218.

But then 0218's attention flicked back to me. I stared at him in surprise, thinking for sure he was going to open fire.

0218: STAY AWAY FROM ENGINEER!

And before I could respond his leg flew out, sending the robot Spy to the ground along with the revolver he'd had leveled at my head. In that moment Soldier had caught up to us. He shot the Spy, then without pausing to see if he was down for good, shot 0218. The Heavy fell backward.

I wish I could say what happened next was just a blur. I wish I could say those stupid things people always say when something bad happens, that it all happened so fast and they didn't even know what was happening until it was over. But I remember. I remember clear as anything what I did next.

I hit Soldier, square in the gut. He wasn't expecting it. I knew he wouldn't be expecting it. He doubled over with a cry of pain.

Soldier unit: DAMMIT ENGIE, WE'RE ON YOUR--

I placed a hand behind his head, raised my knee, and bashed his face hard against it. He crumpled to the ground without another word.

The humans were running at me now. It was so easy. I've never been one to act off of instinct or... programming or whatever it was, but I just knew what to do. The Scout came at me first. His bat wasn't even up. He obviously wasn't attacking.

Scout unit: What the hell Rex?!

I turned toward him, Soldier's now broken shotgun in my hand. He froze, and then he raised his bat uncertainly.

Scout unit: Rex?

He still wasn't ready to use it. The butt of the shotgun hit him square in the side of the head. He screamed, real loud. I could hear more footsteps pounding down the hall. Maybe they were attracted to the noise. Maybe they'd only just finished fighting their own skirmishes. I didn't think about any of that though. I just thought about how best to make him stop screaming. Another few hits with the shotgun seemed like a good place to start.

I stepped forward while he scrambled like an injured dog. It felt like a routine I'd done a million times before, the most easy thing to do in the world. My head was clear of doubt or conscience or reason as I marched, that makeshift club in my hand and ready to swing again. I felt peace.

Then something clamped down hard on my shoulder. I spun around quick as anything. My hand found the soft surface of a throat, and I grabbed for it. It would be quicker to do this without the gun. A quick snap, or perhaps a strangulation if I had trouble.

Sniper grabbed at my hand with a grunt of surprise.

Sniper unit: Truckie... it's me, stupid... blighter!

My grip tightened slightly and he choked, but something seemed wrong now. It wasn't peaceful anymore. His eyes were rolling up in his head. His face was red, then purple. And he looked scared.

I didn't like that.

What was I doing?

Demolitions unit: What the bloody hell?!

I let go and pulled back. Sniper fell to his knees wheezing, while Pyro and Demoman stared at me from the door across the hallway. Demoman looked completely shocked. Pyro was standing slightly behind him, a hand halfway up toward his mask. I stared at them both as the weight of what I'd just done settled into my head. I'd turned on my teammates. Why would I do that? It didn't make sense.

E-001: Pyro?

He stepped backward. Pyro backed away from me like I was some sort of monster.

I'd given him a pretty damn good reason for it.

My gaze dropped. There was a pistol nearby. Scout must have dropped it earlier. I picked it up, turning it over in my hand. My head was full of Sniper's ragged breathing and Scout's cursing from down the hall.

I couldn't stay there.

Demoman tensed and started speaking in a soft voice, like he was trying to reason with a madman.

Demolitions unit: Come on lad, put the gun down. We aren't here to attack ye or--  
E-001: Don't come for me. I'm sorry.

I put the gun to my head and pulled the trigger.

I respawned thirty-two minutes ago. Gray knows I ran for it; there's an inhibitor jammed into one of the drives of the new body and it's keeping me from being able to move. Nobody's come into the assembly bay to see if I'm here or not yet.

I really can't bring myself to care.

/entry_18


	19. Chapter 19

entry_19

2352 hours, Thursday, January 18, 1973

They put me in restraints then took me to see Gray. His office is the same as the last time I was there. Still large, still sparse, still well-lit. He was even standing in front of his desk like he'd been when I was brought in the first time. Soon as I was through the door he made sure my legs and arms were properly secured so I couldn't attack him, then nodded to the Soldiers who'd brought me in.

Master Gray: Leave us.

They did. We just stared at each other in silence for a moment.

Master Gray: I must say I am disappointed, E-001. Unsurprised, yes, but disappointed all the same.  
E-001: What did you do to me?  
Master Gray: I thought it was rather obvious what I did to you.

I leaned forward slightly, hoping I didn't sound as desperate as I was.

E-001: I just attacked my team. I want to know why.  
Master Gray: Did you now.  
E-001: I attacked BLU. I didn't think about it until I was done, I just DID it. I almost killed Sniper. And I want to know why I suddenly have compulsions to kill my friends.

Gray's eyes narrowed just a little bit. Something that might have been dread welled up in me as I anticipated his answer.

Master Gray: If you are insinuating that I programmed you to do something of that sort, you are sorely mistaken.  
E-001: Well it happened, and I sure as hell didn't... it wasn't my fault.  
Master Gray: Mmm. Perhaps.

I had to look down then as the truth sank in to my head. If Gray wasn't lying, then...

E-001: Whatever you did to put me in here, that's why I did it. You're still the reason I attacked them.  
Master Gray: Most likely. Though I will not deny that you have seemed to become more... well.  
E-001: More what?

He gave me a cool look, perhaps in warning because of my tone of voice.

Master Gray: More used to this lifestyle, if you can call it that.  
E-001: I'm not more used to it. I don't want it; I don't like being a robot.  
Master Gray: I am only stating what I have observed. But we have strayed rather far from our topic, haven't we?  
E-001: What topic?  
Master Gray: The topic of what I am going to do with you, of course.

I glowered at him in silence. Gray was unmoved.

Master Gray: It is clear to me now that sending you onto the field was a mistake from the beginning. I thought, perhaps, that you would avoid contact with your old teammates out of shame, but it seems I miscalculated.  
E-001: Are you going to kill me for good and move on or what?  
Master Gray: That's hardly necessary. Your mind is still a valuable asset to me, and given how unlikely it is for your old teammates to try to abduct you out of my headquarters, well, keeping you under control should be child's play. I'm sure we can find some... arrangement to ensure your cooperation.

For a split second I had an urge to run forward best as I could and see if I couldn't crush Gray under my weight. I didn't bother though. It wouldn't have worked anyways, and the fight in me was slowly dying with every second I stood there. Still I tried to at least put up some pretense of resistance.

E-001: How're you so sure they won't come looking for me?

Gray laughed. I hate his stupid laugh.

Master Gray: You betrayed them while you were still human E-001. You have fought against them on my side on several occasions, and when they finally attempted to take you back, you proceeded to attack them like any other robot would have done. Why would they risk anything to pull you out of the pit you have dug for yourself?

I didn't have an answer for that, partly because the guilt those words brought up had been lurking in the back of my mind since I'd heard about Blutarch and Redmond being killed last year. The full realization of my treachery struck me, crushing my feeble attempts to hold it at bay like they were a poorly constructed roof. And then I was back in that hallway with Sniper wheezing on the floor, Demoman staring at me all shocked and Pyro backing further into the hallway. I'd scared Pyro. How did that even happen?

I averted my gaze.

Master Gray: Now. We still have some decisions to make, don't we?

I was silent for a moment. He crossed his arms.

E-001: I guess I don't have any options, do I?  
Master Gray: You always have options. In this instance your options are to continue being obstinate or to cooperate with me.  
E-001: Some options.  
Master Gray: Mmm. Either way you will have to choose.  
E-001: I know.

I took another pause to collect my thoughts.

E-001: I just... I want to forget any of this ever happened. I don't deserve a second chance, I don't deserve to be human, but...

I looked back up at his face. For the first time he looked puzzled.

E-001: Can you do that much for me, please? I don't want to remember what I was, if this is what I'm stuck with.

He stared at me in bemusement.

Master Gray: You are asking me to reset your memory.  
E-001: Please.

Gray's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Master Gray: You're mocking me.  
E-001: No, I...

I looked down again, hating myself.

E-001: Please, Master Gray, will you reset my memory?

There was another long silence. I couldn't bring myself to look him in the face.

Master Gray: You continue to surprise me, E-001. Very well, I will see to it that your memory is reset. The procedure may have to be modified given the circumstances, but I am sure that we will manage in the end.

I didn't respond. The door opened behind me, and I could hear the Soldiers from before shuffling in.

Master Gray: Take him to Lab C in the basement and keep an eye on him.  
0484: YES SIR MASTER GRAY! *BEEPBAPBOOP*  
0556: ALL HAIL THE MAKER!

They escorted me out of the office, down the elevator, and to the lab in question. That was one hour and three minutes ago.

I'm ready for this to be over.

/entry_19


	20. Chapter 20

entry_20

0639 hours, Friday, January 19, 1973.

This is it. Gray's going to come in any minute now to initiate the memory wipe.

The Soldiers are gone. He got them to plug that inhibitor back into my port so he wouldn't need them around, so now I'm just lying on the workbench by myself. I figure Gray's worried about me having second thoughts, but the measures to keep me immobile really weren't necessary. I'm too tired to fight anymore. I just want a resolution.

Part of me wonders what I'll feel like when I wake up afterwards. It almost makes me a little sick to think about me cheering "all hail the Maker" with the others, but I guess I'll be happy. And what's pride in the end anyways? I don't have anything left to be proud of. Might as well just get on with it and not worry about stuff I won't care about one way or another in a few hours.

Not much else to say. I've refiled the backups of my memory and this log so they'll be deleted with everything else. I'm only even bothering to record this much because it's giving me something to do.

And that'll be him. Guess I'd better stop and get myself ready for

What are you doing here? Wait, damn it, I'm still recording, give me a second!

**!ERROR: THE LAST SESSION WAS NOT SHUT DOWN PROPERLY. WOULD YOU LIKE TO CONTINUE WHERE YOU LEFT OFF? Y/N**


	21. Chapter 21

entry_21

Change of plans. I'm leaving.

I don't know what to think right now. I'm afraid that if I stop moving I'll start processing things. I might get hopeful. And I really don't want that to happen when we've got such a slim chance of success. Still, it's hard. 

0031 was the one who came into the lab, not Gray, and the first thing he did was remove my inhibitor.

E-001: What are you doing here? Wait, damn it, I'm still recording, give me a second!  
0031: Sh, no questions. Follow me.

I didn't budge.

E-001: I'm kind of busy at the moment, actually. Put the inhibitor back and either tell me what you're up to or leave me alone.

He glared at me.

0031: If you are going to act like ein Kind, then very well.

He grabbed my arm and jerked me off the table with a resounding crash. I didn't realize he was strong enough to do something like that.

E-001: OW! What the hell do you think you're doing?! Someone's going to hear--  
0031: If you will just come with me then that won't be a problem, will it?

Now I knew that whatever happened, if Gray came in on me right now, the end result for me would be the same. 0031, on the other hand, could be in a lot of trouble, and I didn't want that. So I clambered to my feet, feeling resentful.

E-001: Keep this up and Gray's going to have your memory wiped too.  
0031: Please, I am old enough that he probably wouldn't bother. He would only decommission me.  
E-001: Yeah, ONLY.  
0031: Quiet und follow me.

He grabbed my arm and zoomed out the door. I staggered after him and after some effort pried his hand off of me. It occurred to me that the hallways were strangely empty. Yet there was noise in the background, something like the sound of a crowd and thunder mixed with firecrackers. Being a mercenary, I'm pretty familiar with those kinds of noises.

E-001: Seriously, what's going on?  
0031: An attack. It is why Gray was going to have your operation now instead of waiting to modify the procedure perfectly, but then it happened more quickly than he had accounted for.  
E-001: Attack? Those idiots, I TOLD Demoman not to let them come for me!  
0031: Given your questionable state of mind it is no wonder that your Demolitions unit didn't listen. But here, quickly, through this door.

He pulled up short next to a door I'd never been through before, presumably to another lab given we were in the basement level. The door unlocked once he typed in the right code, and he ushered me inside. It wasn't lit up aside from a bluish glow emitted from various bits of machinery. He shut the door, and I crossed my arms.

E-001: So is this the part where you try to talk me out of it? It's not going to work.  
0031: Nein. This is the part where I force you to see reason und to leave with your friends.

I hid my slight surprise at his words.

E-001: No. Doc, you don't get it. Your buddies didn't kill me when I was back with BLU. I shot myself.  
0031: Ja, after you attacked them. I know the entire story.  
E-001: Wait, what?  
0031: It was 1197. All Spy units are equipped with cameras near their optical receptors. He transmitted everything before he finally... finally died. I was with Herr Gray when he was reviewing the feed.  
E-001: Right. Well you know plenty well why I can't go back then. It'd be better if me and the humans just forgot about each other.

He drew himself up to his full height and grabbed my shoulders. I'd never seen him this angry before.

0031: Will you shut up for a moment? This is NOT the answer to your problems, you imbecile, und I am not going to allow you to go through with something as idiotic as a voluntary memory wipe!  
E-001: How is it NOT going to answer my problems exactly? You saw what I did in there, or do you just not care since it was a bunch of humans being attacked?   
0031: It is not going to answer your problems because you will be effectively resetting any mental restraint und progress you have made in the course of your life if you do this! I thought being human was important to you; I thought you cared about retaining your old characteristics!  
E-001: I TURNED ON MY FRIENDS! Being a robot's getting to my head, I'm not... there's no going back. I'm a liability to them. I'm losing my mind, and there's nothing I can do about it. I might as well--  
0031: HERR ENGINEER. BEING A ROBOT DOES NOT MAKE YOU ATTACK PEOPLE. I AM A ROBOT UND I DO NOT GO AROUND ATTACKING PEOPLE FOR NO REASON. THIS MEMORY DELETION IS. NOT. GOING. TO. SOLVE. ANYTHING!

He shook me pretty hard at this last part, and I jerked out of his grip. He was pissing me off now.

E-001: Then why the hell did I do it?! If being a robot ain't the reason I went and started attacking my friends, then what is the reason, you tell me that!

He hesitated, clenching and unclenching his fists like he was trying to calm himself down.

0031: I have my own theory, all right? I cannot know for certain why, but I do know that this is a foolish line you are taking!  
E-001: Then what's your theory, genius?  
0031: My theory is that you are simply not USED to the impulses und programming that come with being inside of a robotic exterior, that is all. You were in a stressful situation und while your human self was trying to cope with what was going on, the programming took over as a means of self-preservation.

I turned this over in my head. It kind of made sense.

E-001: Well how's that a good thing? It's still my fault that I attacked--  
0031: Und if you reset your memory, ANY self-control you have managed to amass during your time as a robot will be reset as well, und you will not care if you do attack your friends again! Do you have any idea how incredibly selfish you are being?

This accusation stung a little.

E-001: Look buddy, I figure I've got a right to be a little selfish! This past month has been a nightmare! You wouldn't know; you've never been forcibly turned into something you're not supposed to be, have you?

0031 scoffed and turned away from me, toward something set into the wall. It had a tarp pulled around it like a shower curtain.

0031: Then perhaps it is time for the nightmare to end, mein Freund.

He pulled the tarp back.

It was a glass tube, and I was in it. My body, suspended in fluid and held in place with various wires and stripped down and not looking all that great, but definitely, miraculously, alive. The chest rose and fell as I watched, head lolling under some large metal device that doubtless was providing it with oxygen.

0031: There. Take it und leave.  
E-001: ...what... why's the head all covered?  
0031: To cover where we extracted the greater portion of your brain.  
E-001: You WHAT?!  
0031: You are not fully robotic, Herr Engineer. There is a device inside your organic shell's head which is keeping its basic functions running, but the large part of your original processor resides inside of your current head along with some... mechanical additions. To ensure compatibility with your current frame, of course.

I remembered RED Engineer and our Medic getting all excited after their examination the other day. Suddenly it made a lot of sense. Of course they'd know I was me if I had a human brain running everything.

E-001: So... so I still have a chance at going back.  
0031: Perhaps. It is what you want, doubtless, so take it und leave. I only request that you take Drei as well.  
E-001: Why do you want me to take your bird?

He gave me a long, hard stare.

0031: Herr Gray saw the feed from 1197. He knows that the others suspect I was in contact with 0218 before he began defying Herr Gray's orders. He himself suspects that I will do foolish things now, und when you are gone he will know.  
E-001: And... and you're okay with that? You're going to just let him decommission you?

For the first time, 0031 looked down and wrung his hands, the way he usually does when he's uncomfortable or frightened.

0031: It is better this way, I think. You will be gone, back to the life you are meant to lead. 0218 is also gone now, for gut. Your Soldier made sure of that. I have nothing, und soon I will be nothing once again. Herr Gray will be right to dismantle me, just... do not let anything happen to Drei bitte.

I couldn't think of anything to say for a minute. It suddenly hit me just how little I'd ever thought of him, even after I'd started to think of him like a person instead of one of Gray's mindless flunkies. All this time I'd been trying to escape, and after 0218's memories of him were gone... how must that have been for him? He was stuck here alone without any friends, nothing except his devotion to Gray keeping him going. And it just wasn't right.

E-001: No.

He looked up almost pleadingly.

0031: But Herr Engineer, I need someone to--  
E-001: No, listen, you're getting Drei and you're taking care of her. I don't care if you think Gray's the risen Messiah, I'm not letting you stay here to die.  
0031: What-- You cannot be serious! I was made to serve Herr Gray! I cannot just abandon my purpose!  
E-001: Yeah, but I designed you buster, and if you don't think that makes you my responsibility then you're just wrong. Besides, it seems to me like you abandoned your purpose the second you started caring enough about me and 0218 to defy his orders.

He just stared at me in what might have been shock for a moment.

0031: But... but your team, they will not like me because I am a robot.  
E-001: To hell with teams. You're my friend, and I ain't letting anyone kill my friend.  
0031: But... but... I... oh I am going to regret this aren't I?  
E-001: Too late for that. Now come on, help me get this body out and we'll high-tail it out of here.  
0031: Und Drei?  
E-001: Yeah, she can come too.  
0031: ...thank you Herr Engineer.  
E-001: Whatever, just help me get this thing out of the wall before someone shows up.

It took some time to get it out, but we managed and now we're heading to the workroom where Drei's being kept. I keep getting worried about the body slung over my shoulder; it keeps breathing but I don't know if it's good for it to be out of that fluid.

Either way, we might just pull this off.

/entry_21


	22. Chapter 22

entry_22

Never thought I'd see that side of 0031. He had us stop to get Drei and, well, kind of inadvertently gave us away. I wouldn't be bothering to record anything with circumstances being what they are, but if he gets taken to bits and I get reset, well, it'll be nice to have at least one more good memory put down in this log in case I stumble on it again.

He had us run back to his workroom to get his bird, and we immediately heard noises inside. Sounded like there was a Scout or two rummaging around in there. He tensed up and started rocking back and forth on his wheel, all worried about her, and I pulled back against the wall. My body seemed to be doing all right; it was breathing and all. If I'd had my way we'd just double back and meet up with BLU. Except he took the doorknob.

E-001: What do you think you're doing?  
0031: Shh!  
E-001: But--  
0031: I am getting Drei now shut up und stay here.

I couldn't exactly stop him with my arms full, so I just waited while he turned the knob and wheeled into the room. The door swung mostly shut behind him, but I could hear their voices plain as anything.

0031: Und just WHAT are you two doing here? This room is a restricted area!  
0396: More like what are YOU doing here pally *BEEP*. Master Gray called everyone to the front lines, and I'm pretty sure that includes you.  
0031: If he called everyone then why aren't you fighting in the front yourselves? Careful with that!

It sounded like the Scouts were digging through scrap metal or something.

0395: Look, the Maker sent us to search your room all right? He didn't say why or nothing but I ain't crossing him. *BOOP* So you can back off.  
0031: Was ist das?  
0396: You heard him! Master Gray wanted us to search your weirdo lab-storage room *BOPBEEP* and so that's--  
0395: Whoa, hey, look at this!

All three of them fell silent. Even out in the hall I could hear the quiet rustling of feathers.

0396: What the hell is that thing?  
0395: It's a bird genius. *BAPBOOP* Come on, let's take it and get out of here. This place gives me the creeps.  
0031: No, that is mine. Put her down.  
0396: Her? Really? It's a frikking bird.  
0031: Yes she is, now put. Her. Down.  
0396: Uh, no? *BEEP* Master Gray's going to want to see it, especially if--  
0395: Dude, stop talking and let's just go. If he's got a problem he can take it up with the Maker himself.

I heard their footsteps coming to the door. There wasn't time to hide anywhere, so I got ready to run.

0396: Move it.  
0031: I will not.  
0395: Seriously, get out of the way dumbass. I already told you we're here on Master Gray's orders; are your auditory receptors malfunctioning or what?  
0031: No, Herr Scout. I am afraid that you are the one who is malfunctioning. Here, hold still und I will fix it.

That's where the conversation ended and what I could only assume was a fight began. Both Scouts were cursing and there was a lot of clanging going on. I hesitated for a second cause I didn't want to just dump my body on the floor, except then 0031 shouted and I wasn't sure how he was going to hold up against two Scoutbots. So I slumped it against the wall and cracked open the door.

0395 was already down. 0031 was half-crouched over him with his saw out. Lubricating fluids seeped out to make a puddle around them both. The Scout had his hand to his earpiece and was half-screaming into his mic.

0395: HE'S DEFECTING, I REPEAT HE'S DEFECTING! SOMEONE TELL THE MAKER AND GET ME SOME FUCKING BACKUP HERE, I'M--

0031 took his head off then. He kept cussing up a storm as he rolled under one of the tables. 0031 didn't waste time watching him but turned to deal with 0396. The other Scout must've been a little smarter than most because he'd moved up close to him while 0031 was crouched. With a good shove he sent the Medibot off-balance and sprawled like a turtle on his back. Drei was in one of the Scout's hands. She flapping wildly as she tried to get loose. Nobody noticed me slowly making my way into the room.

0031: Let go, you are going to injure her!  
0396: No way pally, I've got to show this to Master Gray. You're done.

0031 scrabbled at the ground and tried to right himself, his wheel spinning pointlessly. It looked like he was going to try and snap the other robot's neck soon as he got up. 0396 laughed.

0396: Oh man, you should SEE how stupid you look on the floor like that. *BAP* It must really suck not having legs. You can't even get up off the floor without help!  
E-001: Lemme show you what that feels like son.

He spun around just in time to get a face-full of my fist. He stumbled back into a wall, giving me enough time to yank 0031 up by one arm. He hadn't been upright for a full second before he raced at 0396 and just started wailing on him with that saw of his. The Scout had dropped Drei when I punched him, and she zoomed around to hide behind my legs. I scooped her up.

It wasn't too long before 0396 stopped cussing and fighting back so much. He just slumped down in a puddle of his own oil, eyes flickering and barely able to move. 0031 pulled back and turned to me as though nothing had happened.

0031: I am sorry that they contacted the rest of the robots, Herr Engineer. Our chances of escape may be severely lessened now that they know for certain that we are running.  
E-001: Well there wasn't a good chance we'd make it out anyways. Here.

I handed Drei to him, and she stopped fussing.

0031: Mmm. Perhaps... perhaps we should leave before the backup 0395 called for arrives. I really, really am sorry though. If I had not wanted to come back--  
E-001: What's done is done. And I don't blame you anyhow. Come on.

We left the Scouts in the room, safely neutralized, then I shouldered my body and we kept on our way. That was about five minutes ago. I can hear the sounds of the fight, so we're getting close on the end of this adventure. Whether it ends well or not, well, I'll just have to wait and see what happens.

/entry_22


	23. Chapter 23

entry_23

0031 and I found the front lines pretty fast after taking the elevator down to the main lobby. The army was concentrated there, so the whole place was packed wall to wall with robots. Four Demobots stood at the door in front of the rest, apparently launching grenades out at the humans. From between them I could make out several indistinct shapes that appeared to be some of Gray's giant models. I couldn't tell which ones they were, but from the explosions it sounded like there was at least one rapid-fire Soldier out there. 

I groaned. Even if we were able to get out of the elevator and make our way through the lobby somehow, there would still be a strong front between us and freedom.

0031: What should we do?  
E-001: Find another way out, I guess. There's no point trying to go out through that.

0031 opened his mouth to reply, except then one of the Snipers standing near the back of the crowd happened to turn around.

0772: Oi! It's them lads!

The rest of the Snipers turned to see what he was talking about. I had a split second to pound the button to close the door before the arrows came flying. It was a miracle that as many missed us that did.

Still, by the time that the elevator was sealed off one of the arrows had found a mark. It buried itself up to the middle in my body's thigh. I reached for it as the elevator started to move down.

E-001: Just what we need...  
0031: Ach, leave it alone! We do not need a trail of fluids leaking out und marking our trail!  
E-001: I know that! It's just... force of habit, okay?

I reluctantly pulled my hand away. He must have noticed how I kept watching the arrow and the little bit of blood coming from the wound.

0031: Do you think it hit any important arteries? It would be bleeding more if it had I think.  
E-001: Damn if I know. You're the doctor.  
0031: But you're the human!

That's when the elevator stopped moving and the lights flickered out.

0031: (incomprehensible German muttering) What NOW?  
E-001: There's got to be some emergency shutoff switch. We should've tried the stairs.  
0031: I should think not! How would I get down the stairs?  
E-001: I just mean that someone's stopped the elevator, like I should have known they would, and now we're stuck.  
Spy unit: But of course.

0031 spun around in surprise. His arm shot out to deliver a punch before I could stop him, but a second later Spy had materialized behind him. In two seconds 0031 had one arm twisted behind his back and his face shoved into the wall. Spy turned to me with that amused smirk of his on his face as the recently dropped Drei screeched indignantly at his feet.

Spy unit: I take it this is a mechanical friend of yours?  
E-001: Let him go Spy, he's helping me.  
0031: This is not comfortable!

Spy let go of him and coolly turned to face me. 0031 scooped his bird up and put her in his pocket.

Spy unit: Let's skip the bit where you ask me how I slipped past Gray's army and get to the part where I help you escape. It should save us a good deal of time.

I might have argued except there were little red spots of blood on the floor at my feet, and I wanted to make sure my body was safe as soon as possible.

E-001: Fine. You got a plan?  
Spy unit: Yes, though it may have to be modified for your... wheeled accomplice, assuming he will be joining us.  
0031: I do not like this already.  
Spy unit: Believe me, you are about to like it much less.

He looked up to the ceiling. We followed his gaze to a small escape hatch. Not sure why Gray was worried about safety protocols like that, but maybe someone else had owned this building before him.

0031: You cannot be serious.  
Spy unit: Either we get out that way or we wait for the robots to apprehend us after they turn the lift on again.  
E-001: Right. Well here, I'll give you a boost up, then 0031 can help me and I'll pull him through.  
0031: Egh... this is going to be highly unpleasant.

As hard as the task at hand was, we managed it in a few minutes. Spy stood on my shoulders to get the hatch open and climb up himself, then 0031 gave me a boost up. I had to pull myself up one handed since I had one arm around my body, but I managed. It was up to me and Spy-- mostly me given how heavy us robots are-- to pull 0031 up, which he and Drei didn't like none too well. Soon enough we were all standing on top of the elevator, and Spy closed the hatch again.

Spy unit: After all, your less gifted associates may not immediately realize what must have happened if our escape route is not still open.  
E-001: Good thinking. Is there a way up from here though?  
Spy unit: There always is.  
0031: Oh I am not liking the look of this one bit.

I followed his gaze. It was a pretty standard elevator shaft: doors spaced regularly at each floor, cables running through a system of pulleys to work the room up and down, support beams jutting out from the walls at intervals. And of course, no ladders.

E-001: Now how the heck are we going to do this?  
0031: It looks impossible!  
Spy unit: Nonsense. I have scaled a good many shafts in my day, and this one poses no particular challenge. Now, first we will need to start climbing the cable.  
0031: Was?  
E-001: Just do what he says. I'm seventy-five percent sure we can trust him.

Spy chuckled as 0031 uncertainly gripped the cable and started to pull himself up. It didn't look none too easy since he had to rely completely on his arms, but us robots have a lot of upper body strength least ways. After a few minutes he'd put a good eight feet between his wheel and the top of the elevator. He kept shaking though and stopping to look down at us. That soft dripping noise from my body's leg was driving me nuts.

Spy unit: What is the problem? Keep moving.  
0031: It is very high, that is the problem!  
Spy unit: Well of course it is high. What did you expect?  
0031: Just allow me a moment bitte! I have never done anything like this!

Spy shook his head and lowered his voice.

Spy unit: This is ridiculous. We would do better to leave him here.  
E-001: No.  
Spy unit: Engineer, he is only a robot. He was never human like you.  
E-001: I ain't leaving him. That's all.  
Spy unit: Even if it means he ruins your chances of escape?

I started to answer, except then the elevator started moving down again, slowly. 0031 yelped and held on for dear life as the cable he'd opted to hold moved up away from us. Spy motioned for him to be quiet. He crouched to ensure he kept his balance and pulled out his knife. I shifted my grip on my body. Something bad was about to happen, I knew it. 

The elevator stopped moving. There was noise under our feet, voices and echoing footsteps. And then without any kind of warning the hatch beside us swung open. A Soldier popped his head up through the door.

0484: THERE YOU ARE MAGGOTS! *BEEPBAPBOOP!*

I stomped on his hands so he went crashing back into the elevator before he could say anything else. There was a lot of yelling from other robots down there.

Spy unit: Well that simplifies things. Engineer, grasp the cable firmly please. If you need to stabilize your... body, then make sure to grip with your legs.

I ignored that this was starting to sound like one of those ideas that could end really badly and did what he said. 0031 peered down at us in alarm while Spy grabbed hold of the cable as well.

0031: What is happening bitte? What are you doing?  
Spy unit: Just hold tightly and you will have nothing to worry about.

He leaned down and started sawing at the cable under us with his knife. I stared.

E-001: That ain't going to be sharp enough.  
Spy unit: I've done this before.  
E-001: But--

Then I stopped because he actually was making headway through the cable. What was that knife of his made out of anyways? But I didn't have much time to wonder before the Soldier's head came up through the hatch again.

0484: ALL RIGHT LADIES, NO MORE FUNNY BUSINESS! *BOOP* DO NOT STOMP ON MY HANDS AGAIN OR I WILL--  
Spy unit: Au revoir imbecile!

He severed the cable from underneath us with one last jerk of his blade and sent the elevator hurtling down beneath us. The weight from it sent our cable shooting up like a rocket. 0031 screamed. I held on for dear life, hoping I didn't look as scared as I was. Spy looked mildly satisfied.

Three seconds later, and we'd come to a complete stop. I could hear 0031 rattling with fear overhead. Spy looked around with narrowed eyes.

Spy unit: Mmm. It looks as though there is a door a little ways above your mechanical friend.  
E-001: 0031? You all right up there?  
0031: (indeterminate noise followed by static)  
E-001: All right, we're gonna need you to climb up a ways. There should be an elevator door.  
0031: ...y-yes. Y-yes, I-I-I will s-see what I c-can do.  
Spy unit: Just get level with it, and then we can work from there.

0031 started to slowly make his way up the cable while we waited. More to keep my mind off of that arrow in my body's leg then out of any curiosity, I turned to Spy.

E-001: Now that we've got a little time, do you mind telling me how you managed to get into the elevator?  
Spy unit: It was fairly simple. The RED team obliged to draw the main forces of Gray's army to the front of his building for us with their attack. This allowed the rest of us to more easily infiltrate the building in search of you or to prepare for your removal from the facilities once you were found.  
E-001: You were that sure I'd respawn, huh?  
Spy unit: Your brain vanished from the robotic exterior minutes after you were shot. Of course you had respawned.  
E-001: Right.  
Spy unit: At any rate my job was simple enough. I monitored the robots' movements from the lobby and kept an eye open on the off chance that you would arrive there. When you did, I simply cloaked and crawled in under the trajectory of the arrows the Snipers were firing. There isn't much else to it.  
E-001: Yeah. I guess that makes sense. I've been lucky and no mistake though, with you coming in when you did.  
Spy unit: I suppose.

We were quiet for a moment. 0031 was almost where he needed to be, which was good. I shifted my body's position, taking care not to unbalance it or to knock the arrow in its leg against the cable.

E-001: How... how are the others taking it? I mean, I attacked you all back there.  
Spy unit: Everyone still wants you to return, if that is what you are asking.  
E-001: But it was... you weren't there, I almost strangled Sniper.  
Spy unit: He survived. And we do have respawn you know.

We were quiet again. He sighed.

Spy unit: Please do not make this difficult Engineer. We are here to help you escape, and that is the main thing you must focus on. We can worry about why things happened and robot impulses once we are back at the base.  
0031: I have g-gotten to the door's level! Now what should I do?

And that saved me the trouble of having to answer Spy. Getting everyone to the door and out of the shaft was a hassle. Spy and me were going to swing the cable so 0031 could get onto the ledge, except that 0031 couldn't really do that so easily with his wheel. So instead Spy had to clamber up and get both of them in place. 0031 pried the elevator doors open then, and the two of them hauled me up to safety using the cable.

We're heading down the hall now. I can hear robots up ahead. Starting to get real tired of this crap.

entry_23


	24. Chapter 24

entry_24

Spy, 0031, and me were only in the hall for 2 minutes and 3 seconds before we ran straight into more Soldier robots. Spy had thought to disguise himself as one of us real fast, which was helpful, but that didn't stop the rocket launcher of every one of the units from aiming at our chests. 0031's hand shot toward his bone saw, but I grabbed his arm. It wasn't a time for desperate last-stands just yet. Spy stepped in front of us, his robot-Spy-mask securely in place.

Spy unit: What seems to be the problem *BEEP*?  
0556: THE PROBLEM IS THAT YOU ARE WALKING WITH TWO TRAITORS! *BEEPBOOP* THE SCOUTS TOLD US WHAT HAPPENED! NOW STEP AWAY FROM THEM OR YOU'LL BE TAKEN INTO CUSTODY AS WELL!  
Spy unit: I'm afraid there's been a misunderstanding. I know perfectly well that they are, indeed, traitors *BOOP*. Rest assured that I am capable of taking them to Master Gray.  
0556: THEN WHY DOES 0031 STILL HAVE HIS WEAPONS? *BADDAPBOOP* YOU ARE NOT A VERY GOOD CAPTOR IF YOU LET HIM KEEP HIS SAW! AND WHY IS E-001 CARRYING A DEAD HUMAN?  
Spy unit: The Maker wished for me to bring them in with everything they were carrying so he could search them himself. Stop questioning his judgment and get out of my way.

Spy knows better than anyone how acting confident a lot of times can make people think you're right. Unfortunately 0556 and his compatriots weren't so easily cowed. Their rocket launchers stayed aimed at us.

0556: MASTER GRAY DIDN'T TELL US ABOUT ANY OF THAT! AND WHY WOULD HE SEND A SPY TO DO THAT STUFF ANYWAYS WHEN HE HAS ALL OF US SOLDIERS? *BOOPBAP* ARE YOU TRYING TO HOG ALL OF THE GLORY FOR YOURSELF, YOU SNEAKY FRENCH B--  
Soldier unit: STAND DOWN ROBOT MAGGOTS, I CAN TAKE IT FROM HERE!

What happened next was nothing short of the stupidest miracle I'd ever witnessed. The crowd of robots parted, and Soldier marched toward us down the newly formed aisle with a cardboard box on his head, or more specifically his robot Halloween costume from the year before last. The one with plastic cups for eyes and a coat hanger antenna.

I shouldn't have been surprised. I remember back when Gray first showed me to the rest of his troops, the RED one along with his team's Heavy and Miss Pauling had been spying on us wearing the exact same stupid disguises and I kind of without thinking gave them away to everyone. Either way though, I sure wasn't expecting anyone to try and pull that trick again, or for it to work so well. 0556 stood at attention and saluted our Soldier.

Soldier unit: AT EASE PRIVATE! I AM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT THIS WAS A TEST THAT GR-- I MEAN MASTER GRAY SET UP, AND YOU PASSED IT! BARPA BLARP!  
0556: A TEST! THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE! *BOPBOOP* WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW 0484?  
Soldier unit: YES, I AM 0484 THE ROBOT AND NOT AN IMPOSTOR! BEEP BEEP BOOP! YOU SHOULD TAKE YOUR MEN AND REPORT TO THE FRONT LINES TO HELP FIGHT OFF THE REDS WHILE I TAKE THESE TRAITORS TO MISTER GRAY AND ALSO TELL HIM WHAT A GOOD JOB YOU DID!  
0556: BUT SHOULDN'T WE GO WITH YOU? WHAT IF THE TRAITORS--  
Soldier unit: DON'T ASK QUESTIONS PRIVATE! JUST HAUL YOUR METAL ASS DOWN TO THE BATTLE BEFORE I DECIDE NOT TO ASK MASTER GRAY TO GIVE YOU A MEDAL!

0556 jumped at this and shouted at his robot companions to get moving. They all scurried off to the stairwell, and soon the four of us were left alone in the hall. 0031 kept watching Soldier in disbelief, gaze roving over the shoddy cardboard box on his head.

0031: They... but you... you are not a robot.  
Spy unit: It would seem that you are slightly more intelligent than your fellow robots then, Docteur. Thank you Soldier.  
Soldier unit: THIS IS NO TIME FOR SAYING THANK YOU, MAGGOT! THIS IS A TIME TO GET UP TO THE ROOF AND--

Spy rolled his eyes as he cut Soldier off.

Spy unit: Yes, the roof, I remember the plan just as well as you if not better. This way everyone.

I might have told them that I knew the building just as well as them and directing me on where to go was kind of pointless, but my body was still losing blood from its leg. Not as much as before, mind, and it seemed pretty unlikely that the injury would be fatal, but I still wanted to get it fixed up soon as possible. So instead of saying anything else I hefted it more securely on my shoulder and followed the others toward a different flight of stairs. 0031 slowed down when he realized where we were going.

0031: Er, I know that the elevator is not a feasible option at the moment, but I have a wheel.  
Soldier unit: WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?  
0031: Well, er, I do not think that getting up stairs will be so easy with a wheel. They are made for people und machines with legs.  
Soldier unit: Oh yeah. Uh... WELL JUST HOLD STILL AND I'LL CARRY YOU UP! YOU CAN'T BE THAT HEAVY!  
0031: Actually we robots are rather-- ACK!

Soldier didn't really listen, he just pulled the robot over his shoulder and grimaced at the weight. Drei twittered in alarm from 0031's pocket. Spy offered him a slow blink.

Spy unit: Are you sure you can handle that, mon ami?  
Soldier unit: I HAVE CARRIED LOTS OF HEAVY THINGS AND WAS JUST FINE, SO DON'T QUESTION MY STRENGTH!  
Spy unit: If you say so.  
E-001: Let's just get out of here quick as we can. I don't want Gray to show up.

Spy nodded curtly and led the way up to keep an eye out for other robots that might try to impede our progress. I went up next, and Soldier and 0031 brought up the rear.

Five minutes and one second into the trip Soldier started to fall behind. Up to that point I'd refrained from offering him any help, especially since that might mean trusting someone else with carrying my body, but this was getting ridiculous.

E-001: Soldier? Do you need a hand?  
Soldier unit: NO, I DO NOT NEED ENGINEER'S BRAIN IN A TRASH CAN TO CARRY THINGS FOR ME! I-- OOF!  
0031: Ach!

He staggered, and I caught his arm so he wouldn't fall down.

E-001: Sure you don't.  
Soldier unit: DAMMIT ROBOT-ENGIE! GRAY MADE THESE STEPS STEEP ON PURPOSE!  
0031: They look like normal-sized steps to me.  
Soldier unit: Well NOBODY ASKED YOU, DID THEY?  
Spy unit: Is there a problem back there?  
Soldier unit: YES, THESE DUMB ROBOT MAGGOTS WON'T MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS!

I let go of Soldier's arm soon as soon I was sure he was steady.

E-001: I ain't a dumb robot maggot. Neither is 0031.  
Soldier unit: WELL YOU ARE A TRAITOR, AND THAT IS NOT A GOOD THING TO BE!  
Spy unit: Mon dieu, could we PLEASE discuss this at a more appropriate time?  
Soldier unit: THEY BROUGHT IT UP!  
0031: Actually we did not, Herr Soldier, I think that was you.  
E-001: All right, all right, I get it.

I turned to Soldier, all too conscious of how much time was slipping away, but it seemed kind of important.

E-001: Soldier, I get that you're mad at me, and I'm sorry. You've got every right to be. You don't even have to trust me or nothing anymore. I know I don't deserve it. But just let me help you out, all right? You're real strong, but he's a robot. I'll carry him, and you can carry my body.  
Soldier unit: WAIT A MINUTE, YOU WANT ME TO CARRY YOU? THE... THE PERSON YOU THAT'S NOT... YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

I nodded.

E-001: I figure you can handle a job that important.

Soldier stood up straight as he could, looking all proud like he does sometimes.

Soldier unit: ALL RIGHT PRIVATE, I WILL SWITCH WITH YOU AND THEN WE WILL GET TO THE HELICOPTER! AND... and I forgive you okay?  
E-001: Thanks. Means a lot.  
Spy unit: This is incredibly touching, but could we PLEASE keep moving before Gray and his machines catch up with us?

I nodded real fast and Soldier and I switched. I tried not to flinch when he threw my body over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. 0031 glanced at him nervously while he clung to my back in a very awkward legless rendition of a piggy back ride.

0031: Are you quite certain you trust him with that? He seems a bit... er, what is the polite phrasing of this...  
E-001: I'm positive, just hold on so we can get out of here.

Spy rolled his eyes and we continued up the stairs. We've been walking for a good few minutes, but we're getting near the end. Spy says there's a door that leads out onto the roof, and we should be able to escape from there.

So close now.

/entry_24


	25. Chapter 25

entry_25

1110 hours, Friday, January 19, 1973.

Everyone but Medic and Demoman was dead when we got there. The bodies had already gone to respawn back at their base, but the blood was everywhere among bits of destroyed machinery. A helicopter stood approximately 5 meters away from the survivors. Medic was cleaning oil off of his Übersaw, and Demoman was reloading his grenade launcher.

I set down 0031. Soldier started shouting immediately.

Soldier unit: WHERE ARE THE OTHERS YOU MAGGOTS?! I THOUGHT YOU WOULD AT LEAST BE ABLE TO DEFEND YOUR OWN DAMN TEAM!  
Demolitions unit: Ach, shut up Jane. They had us outnumbered. It was as much as we could do to keep them away from the helicopter.  
Soldier unit: THAT IS NO EXCUSE! NOW DOWN AND GIVE ME--  
Medic unit: We are not doing pushups, now stop wasting time. Spy, do you have the keys to the helicopter?  
Spy unit: Of course.  
Demolitions unit: Wait just a bloody moment! Is someone going to explain what THAT is doing here?

He pointed at 0031 with his grenade launcher. The Medicbot wrung his hands and backed away.

0031: I am s-sorry, Herr Demoman. I am unit 0031 und--  
E-001: He's my friend. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for him. Now can we get out of here? I'd like to get my body on ice as soon as possible. 

Medic eyed the figure slung over Soldier's shoulder with undisguised glee.

Medic unit: Oh... oh ja, we will have to operate soon. How did he preserve the body? It is pristine!  
Spy unit: You will have an opportunity to ask Gray yourself if we do not move.  
Soldier unit: THERE IS NO TIME TO WAIT FOR THAT SPY! BESIDES THAT IS FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY!  
Spy unit: (incomprehensible French muttering) I meant that we will be captured.  
0484: YES YOU WILL BE, FLESH MAGGOTS!

I spun on my heel just in time to see the Soldierbot explode into shrapnel. Demoman loaded another grenade into his launcher, stepping over the debris. Dark shapes started to appear at the bottom of the stairwell.

Demolitions unit: Jane you bleeding idiot, help me hold them off!  
Soldier unit: HOLD THIS DOC!

He dumped my body into Medic's arms before running headlong into what was about to turn into a fray. Medic glared at Soldier before motioning to me.

Medic unit: Take your body to the helicopter und leave. We will respawn before too long.  
E-001: But--

He shoved the body at me.

Medic unit: Nein! The Spy will join you to pilot the aircraft shortly, now go, schnell! This is not a discussion!

I couldn't get out another word before he'd run back toward the others, medigun out.

His plan made sense, as much as I didn't like it. If I died, I'd spawn in a lab several stories beneath our feet. Even in a best case scenario, the rescue mission would be back at square one. More likely it'd be a complete failure. With this in mind, I hefted my body over my shoulder.

E-001: 0031, come on, we-- OOF!

The Demobot rammed into me out of nowhere like a stealthy wrecking ball. His sword came at my legs and I felt something inside one of them snap. It buckled so I sank down to one knee, but I was more concerned about the fleshy body sprawled on the ground next to me. The arrow in my thigh twisted sideways as the body's weight came down hard on the shaft. A new stream of blood started from the wound, quicker than before.

The others were all fighting. Explosions and electronic death cries had drowned out my shout of pain. I don't know if they could have gotten to me in time even if they had noticed the sword rise over the Demobot's head for a finishing blow, single eye blazing with that soulless blue light I'd become so accustomed to.

Except something I almost couldn't make out zoomed at him from the side, something with those same burning blue eyes and a bonesaw in his hand.

The Demobot staggered a little, oil leaking from a gash in his side. His swing went wide, but not wide enough to miss me entirely. The sword lodged itself in the gap of my shoulder joint. Before the robot could jerk the sword free, 0031 was on him again. Two more hits brought my attacker down, and the sword went with him.

0031: Herr Engineer, are you all right?

I tried to stand up on my own and failed. He caught my arm.

E-001: I've been better.  
0031: Ach, here, I will get--  
Soldier unit: BEEP BOOP METAL CUPCAKES, I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU!  
Demolitions unit: JANE YE GREAT ARSE, DON'T--!

I looked over my shoulder just in time to see a chassis-rattling explosion. Bits of robot and Soldier's bloodied box-head went flying past us. Demoman started cussing up a storm, while 0031 just stared in disbelief.

0031: Your friend just self-destructed. Also... also we should move.

He pulled my good arm over his shoulder while I shook my head.

E-001: Yeah... he does that sometimes.

The sounds of battle intensified as we slowly made our way toward our escape. A steady rhythmic clanking I took to signal the arrival of reinforcements sounded behind me, along with a not even a little bit sane laugh from Medic. Last time I'd heard him laugh like that he was dissecting a RED he'd managed to capture.

The memory jarred something in my brain.

E-001: Wait... wait, my body--  
0031: Shh, I will get it. First we must load you into the helicopter.  
E-001: No, I could carry it!  
0031: No you could not! Not in this condition!

I refrained from arguing with him, though it was tough. The Demoman and the Medic would only be able to hold the enemy off for a finite amount of time. Jawing at 0031 would do nothing but waste that valuable resource.

It didn't take long to get there. Spy materialized next to the helicopter door and held it open for me while 0031 pushed me inside as best as he could. Then he reached into his pocket and dropped Drei in my lap. She chirped in protest. 

E-001: What--?  
0031: Just hold her while I retrieve your body, bitte! Just in case!  
Spy unit: Listen to your friend, Engineer.

Spy ran around to the pilot's seat so we could take off as quickly as possible. Meanwhile 0031 wheeled his way back toward the fight.

Medic and Demoman were keeping the robots from getting too far out from the stairs, but it didn't seem like they'd last much longer. Demoman had apparently run out of ammo and was now wielding a sword dropped by one of the robots. As I watched he lifted a head he'd cut off a Heavy into the air with a bellowed string of cussing I could hardly make out. It got their attention at least, and as Scouts and Pyros and Soldiers turned his way he charged.

Demolitions unit: THIS ONE'S FOR JANE, YE GREAT FECKING TIN CANS!

I don't know if he was trying to draw them away from 0031 on purpose or not, but it had that effect. The Medicbot kept going, businesslike, and finally pulled up next to my body. It struck me how ashen it looked there lying against the asphalt in a puddle of its own blood. My own blood, I mean.

E-001: Come on, hurry up...  
Spy unit: You do realize he cannot hear you, yes?  
E-001: You do realize that I'm about a second away from slapping the sass clean out of your mouth, yes?  
Spy unit: Touché. 

I ignored him for now. 0031 had it over his shoulder now and was heading back my way. I couldn't see Demoman, and the robots he'd been fighting were starting to disperse. It looked like Medic might be the only human left besides Spy.

Medic was standing between the line of advancing robots and us, a rictus grin on his face. Oil was dripping from his lab coat in great splotches, and a little bit of blood was dribbling out the corner of his mouth. He wiped it off on the back of his hand and held it up, possibly so the robots could see. His next words came out in a shriek.

Medic unit: YOU WISH TO THROW YOURSELF ONTO THE MERCY OF DER FLEISCHMANN? VERY WELL, I CAN ACCOMMODATE YOU!

And he just jumped at them with his saw and his syringe gun out, cackling. The robots jumped back to get out of his reach, but he still managed to knock a Pyro to the ground, pin him down with a boot on his neck, and fire needles point-blank into his face.

Medic unit: DOES THAT HURT, HERR PYRO? DO YOU WANT MORE? SPEAK UP BITTE, I CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING!

It was enough to make most of them give him a wide berth, but it didn't keep robots from slinking around him toward us and 0031. Several Soldiers readied their rocket launchers as they approached.

Spy cursed quietly and started up the helicopter.

E-001: Hold up, we ain't leaving without 0031 and my body!  
Spy unit: If they open fire on us we may not have a choice, Engineer. It is better to be prepared.  
E-001: Like hell it is!

I scooped up Drei and dropped her in Spy's lap before swinging open the door.

Spy unit: What are you doing? You are going to blow this entire--  
E-001: You won't leave without me, so you won't leave without him either!

Spy glared at me and began extricating himself from the pilot's seat, but I was already limping across the asphalt. I couldn't hear Medic's laughs anymore. Looked like my only allies left were Spy and 0031.

0031 looked up as I approached. He wasn't far from the helicopter now. My body wasn't looking too hot, and the Medibot was a little banged up. His unoccupied hand was clutching his dripping bonesaw, which he waved at me irritably.

0031: Herr Engineer, get back into your seat! You are in no condition to--

Then he stared at something over my shoulder and just stopped moving. His hands started shaking.

I turned around to see Gray Mann standing there, a revolver in his hand and a cold, hard glint in his eye. The gun was pointed at 0031.

It didn't make any sense. Gray wouldn't get into the middle of a fight like this. In my confusion, I didn't do anything. I just stood there like I couldn't do anything.

0031 backed away from him a pace and dropped the saw. I've never seen him look more terrified.

0031: I-I... please, Herr--

The gun went off. 0031 fell backward with a cry of surprise, sprawling on top of my body, a great dark hole in his chest spurting oil everywhere. His eyes flickered.

The disguise faded. Gray wasn't on the roof with us; it was just a Spybot who was a little too clever for his own good.

This time it wasn't peaceful, just cold and purpose and a hard anger I'd felt before too many times. I moved forward mechanically. My damaged leg didn't matter. My arm didn't matter either. All that mattered was that stupid smug machine that was swiftly slipping another bullet into his gun.

I caught his neck first. And maybe I am just a machine, maybe I don't have adrenaline anymore, but when I squeezed I felt the plates under my hand dent. I stared into his eyes. 0031 had said they recorded everything they saw and sent the images back to Gray. He could be watching right now.

E-001: You're dead, you ugly son of a bitch.

I ripped his head off. Not sure how, with the one hand, but I did it. Didn't waste any time watching him fall either, I just turned around to check 0031.

His eyes weren't lit up.

0556: SURRENDER NOW MAGGOTS, AND YOU WILL NOT BE HARMED!

Several rockets detonated nearby, almost sending me off balance. I needed to get back to the helicopter, with just one good arm and one good leg. I looked down at 0031 sprawled over my body, the skin almost gray and its breathing shallow.

I wouldn't be able to carry them both.

I grabbed 0031's arm and started dragging him back with me, mind numb. I couldn't think about what this meant for me until we were out of harm's way.

Even then it didn't look like we were going to make it, but soon enough I heard robots screaming and the tell-tale crackling of a sapper. Spy was keeping them from focusing their attacks on me. That was good, because I needed all the help I could get.

The door was open just like I'd left it. I started trying to push 0031 in.

Spy unit: Allow me.

He appeared beside me, a shallow gash in his abdomen but otherwise unharmed, and helped push the Medibot inside. As I climbed in, he looked around at the ground nearby.

Spy unit: Your body--  
E-001: We won't be able to get it. There's too many of them.  
Spy unit: I see. Very well.

He shut the door behind me and climbed into the front. We lifted off the ground none too soon, as the robots were regrouping and firing on us. I didn't pay much attention to any of that though even as we left Gray's base far behind us.

I'm not going to be human again, and I don't know if I can fix 0031 or not.

/entry_25


	26. Chapter 26

entry_26

1351 hours, Thursday, January 25, 1973.

Almost a week since we got out. We're in one of our old bases for now, so I've been able to set up in the room I'd been using as a workshop. Repairs on 0031 are going better than I expected. Old as he was, with the shot through his chest and getting dragged and just general exertion after not being properly calibrated for battle in so long, it was a relief to find that only a few things had been knocked loose outside of the damage caused by the revolver. I even powered him on for the first time yesterday, just for a few minutes to see if his processor was still entirely operational, and so I could explain the situation to him. When his lights came back on and he started looking around, kind of feebly since there's still some stuff to be worked on, I would've been holding my breath if I had any.

E-001: Doc?  
0031: H-herr Engineer?

His voice reverberated kind of funny and was full of static, but it was still working. I faked a sigh.

E-001: You're alive.  
0031: No, technically speaking I-I-I am not.  
E-001: You know what I mean. Damn though, you... you really had me scared there for a bit.

He looked down, and we just sat quietly for a minute.

0031: I am th-the worst of robots.  
E-001: Why d'you say that?  
0031: I betrayed m-mein Maker. I-I am... I am a disgrace. Did you s-see his f-f-face wh-wh-wh... wh...  
E-001: That wasn't Gray though. Gray didn't even show up. That was a Spybot.  
0031: H-he would have made the same f-face if he had been present.

I shrugged, unsure of how to respond.

E-001: Well... probably, I guess. But Gray's evil. He don't care about you or anyone, just like I told you.

0031 glared at me, his fingers twitching. It didn't look like he could manage much else movement-wise.

0031: Herr G-gray is not evil. H-he has no ob-bligation to me. He owes me n-nothing.

I wanted to say something sharp in reply, but looking at him broken and distraught like that on my workbench... I just couldn't do it. I changed the subject.

E-001: Drei's doing well.  
0031: Oh? I am... g-glad to hear this news. You have been feeding h-her?  
E-001: Yeah. Think she misses you though.  
0031: Mmm. P-perhaps.

He shuddered and held still for a moment, staring at the ceiling. I shifted my weight.

E-001: You're not completely fixed yet.  
0031: I g-gathered as much.  
E-001: I'll need to shut you down to do more.  
0031: P-please do. I am... danke, Herr Engineer. You do not h-have to fix me.  
E-001: No, trust me I do.

I shut him down. Maybe in a few days I'll be able to have him on for good. For now, though, it's probably for the best that I leave him off.

Otherwise, well, things haven't gone back to the way they were or anything. I haven't tried to socialize much with my teammates. It feels weird with me being like this, and the memory of almost killing Sniper is still painfully fresh in my head. They haven't left me alone though, not for very long, and as out of place as I feel I am grateful for it.

Soldier and Pyro came in first, pretty soon after RED Engineer helped me get fixed up last week. Pyro gave me a hug and listened while I explained what was wrong with 0031. Soldier didn't say a lot, but he gave me an old soup can with some dandelions in it. He'd painted the words GIT WEL SOON on it. I've still got it next to the workbench even though the dandelions are dry and withered up.

Demoman came in a little later the same day with a plate of money he'd collected from everyone. He seemed pretty interested in how I ran on money and all, so I explained it as best as I could. Sniper came in the day after along with Heavy and Scout. Things might have been a little awkward between me and Sniper, except Scout wouldn't shut up so me, him, and Heavy got to bond over our mutual annoyance. Scout was really excited about 0031 and kept asking if he had a name yet and where he was going to stay and all that. Heavy threatened to remove him from the room if he wouldn't shut up, but that didn't stop Scout from telling us that we should name him Champ. Sniper told him that 0031 wasn't even fixed yet and he might not like that name, and anyways he looked more like a Stephen to him. I had to laugh a little at this. I'm not sure why.

It wasn't until today that Medic and Spy came knocking on my door. It turned out that they had something pretty interesting to say.

Medic unit: Engineer? May we come in, bitte?  
E-001: Door's unlocked.

They came in. Medic had a funny kind of smile on his face. I wasn't sure what to make of it, but Spy didn't seem all that perturbed so I figured he wasn't up to anything screwy.

Spy unit: You are doing well, I trust?  
E-001: Not as bad as I could be doing at least.  
Medic unit: Ah, very gut, very gut indeed. Do you have a moment to talk?

I put down the socket wrench I'd been using on 0031.

E-001: I reckon you could say that. What do you want to talk about?

Spy gave Medic a side-long glance, and the other stepped forward eagerly.

Medic unit: What if I told you that we can make you human again?  
E-001: I'd tell you that your sense of humor needs some work.

He shook his head vigorously.

Medic unit: No, it is not a joke! The, er, you have heard of the concept of cloning, ja? Of course you have, you are an educated man.

I stared at him for a minute before I realized he wasn't pulling my leg.

E-001: You can't be serious. It wouldn't work.  
Spy unit: The RED Engineer seems to think otherwise. He's already agreed to provide us with the DNA.  
Medic unit: Oh just think for a moment Engineer. If your current condition is possible, if we have the technology for the medigun und dispensers und teleporters, then why is it so far fetched to think that we could clone a body for you from the other Engineer's genetic material? It is identical!  
E-001: But... but wouldn't the Administrator find out you were using her resources for something like this? It's going to take time to finish it up anyways, and the longer you're working on it the more likely it is that she'll find out.  
Spy unit: Please, if we can keep your rescue and the presence of two robots at our base secret from her, this should be child's play.  
Medic unit: Spy has very graciously agreed to help appropriate the materials for this project. So! What do you think?

I didn't know what to say for a moment. On the one hand, it was ridiculous. They'd risked enough to get me out of Gray's place already, and asking for anything more seemed pretty outrageous, especially something this risky and labor intensive and costly. On the other hand, well... I really wanted to be my old self again.

Medic didn't give me time to answer. He just clapped me on the shoulder and grinned.

Medic unit: I will begin working on it as soon as I possibly can, mein Freund. Do not worry yourself with the details of how much time it will take or anything else. It is my pleasure.

Spy smirked a little, and they both left before I could figure out anything else to say.

I don't know if this will work. It's not exactly a foolproof idea, and the Administrator might find out about me before then. But for now, all I can think is that I've actually got a chance to go back, little though I deserve it.

I don't know if I'll make any more entries for a while. This journal's been really nice for getting me through my captivity, but I'm going to be busy with fixing up 0031 and working on other projects. And it might help me feel more like my old self if I stop using the programs that come with my robotic additions. So for now, I guess this is goodbye. Hopefully I won't have a reason to open this up again for a good, long, peaceful while.

/entry_26


End file.
